September 16, 2013

Self-Doubt Chirping

Working past self doubt is a challenge.  I have this plan for a new blog.  I will be running two, actually.  You are reading my skirt and high heels blog (in need of a make over).  My new blog will be my running shoes and kick up my feet blog.  I am working on a plan to invest money into the appearance and the design of both of my creations versus my usual method of throw the spaghetti up on the wall.  I guess it could be called an investment in my future in spite of the little voice in my head saying, “the future of what?”  Thank you Self-Doubt for chiming in and trying to squish my idea, is all I have to say about that.  This is one of those things that came to me and I felt like running with it; yet Self-Doubt chirps away.

Someone recently observed I fear things and I probably have no idea what it is I am afraid of.  I found that to be a fair assessment as the unknown is a source of fear for me and something about the unknown rattles my confidence.  I have no idea what the unknown holds and that is my own obstacle.  Who cares what the unknown holds?  I am reminding myself to shape the unknown as I want it to be and to allow changes and shifts as things reveal themselves.  I have to remind myself to just take a little leap of faith every now and then, as there is really nothing to lose in pursuing an idea.   I need to focus on what I want to do now and how I want the “now” to unfold.  Self-Doubt needs a mute button.

Taking an idea and allowing it to come to fruition can be a revealing way to let others see your point of view or perspective and to hear your voice (literally or figuratively).  You may learn something new about yourself and others may learn something new about you.  In my case, Self-Doubt can be an annoyance and an idea stopper.   Self-Doubt feeds fear…or does fear feed Self-Doubt?  Chicken or the egg?  Needless to say, the combination can be the source of self imposed obstacles that can stop creativity or progress in its tracks, if allowed.  I suppose it is  natural to hear the chirping of Self-Doubt in any venture or process and it is a lesson in will, I think.  Mute Self-Doubt and carry on.

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September 4, 2013

Gratitude Is Easy

Back to work.  The day after Labor Day is always a bit deflating.  The end of summer is near which means bulky coats, boots and dark mornings and evenings are looming.  The end of last week also involved a rather unpleasant client meeting.  Unpleasant as in awkward silences and uncomfortable explanations about a deliverable.  As I started my drive to the same client location this morning, I was cringing a bit.  I am the face to the client so they look to me for answers and explanations and to listen to their pain points. When I am on the spot, honesty is my only route.  I learned early in my years in Corporate America to avoid taking things personally and to be composed no matter how the client is addressing me.  After an unpleasant meeting I always feel weird going back to the client.

As I was waiting in the lobby I was checking Instagram and Twitter, as I always do when I am just waiting.  It is always interesting to see what words of wisdom others are posting.  One person posted a picture of her journal and indicated she writes the things for which she is grateful as a daily practice.  Another posted that she makes note of the good things that happen to her each day before she goes to bed. And another posted her advice to thank yourself when something goes well. After last week, I decided to try to remember the good things at the conclusion of my all day client visit.

Fast forward to 11am when I sat down with one my key client contacts.  She has a daughter my age so it is hard to get anything past her.  She uses mother’s intuition with me so it is futile to think anything will go unnoticed. She started by saying, “I wanted to talk to you about last week’s meeting and how you conducted yourself.”  I cringed in my chair as I waited to hear what was next as I really had no idea how I was perceived by the client after a rigmarole of a conference call.  She said, “Some of the people on the phone were being unreasonable.  You were poised and you listened and your responses were very thoughtful and reflective of the fact that you were listening to what was said.  We appreciated that you were willing volunteered to go to the executive meeting to explain the circumstances.  You did an excellent job given the awkward circumstances and awkward silences.”  WHEW!  I was so relieved and so grateful to receive a compliment from a customer.  I pride myself in advocating for my clients and giving them honest answers and understanding in my interactions.  Most often, when working as a service provider, compliments are few and far between as clients often speak up when displeased.  My client also said, “You either enjoy the abuse (jokingly) or you have learned to take nothing personally.”  To which I replied (in short), “It is business, nothing is personal here and I learned that a lesson many years ago.”  WHEW!  It turned my day around to hear my client validate that I did the right thing and approached business concerns in the right way.  I am fairly confident in my ability, however, hearing how someone perceives me is helpful and enlightening.  I decided to chalk that up to a good thing that happened to me today.

My takeaway is to show gratitude.  It is easy and often effortless.  Always thank the people who do good work.  I tend to thank people in any service capacity because I have had several different jobs in my life.  It is very easy to show gratitude and appreciation when someone works behind a counter or over the telephone.  I find many people forget to do this .  I send notes to senior management when some goes above and beyond.  I have been known to pull over on the side of the road to thank utility workers.  Every day for the last 4 the staff at Starbucks has gotten my drink wrong.  I suspect a lot of people would get annoyed,  however, I just asked them to correct it and thanked the barista for doing so.  I see how hard the baristas work during a rush and no one is intentionally giving me the wrong coffee concoction.  Say thank you to the people who provide service as they deserve to be acknowledged and they deserve to know their work is appreciated.  If you are a regular, introduce yourself and learn the names of the people who prepare your coffee or wait on your table or do your pedicure.  I find it it usually leads to better service and a more positive experience for all parties involved.

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August 7, 2013

How Did I Get Here!?

I have a friend from the gym, Melissa, who has been skipping out on our weekly class lately.  I wondered where she had been and her responses to text messages were rather vague.  I offered to listen if she needed anything and she never responded.  As I do when I know something is awry, I leave people be and till they are ready to surface.  Melissa eventually told me she left her place of employment, a  public relations company she joined as a start up.  As a result of a series of events, she left her 10 years of hard work and her title of vice president behind. Melissa came to class tonight (hooray!) and when she began to tell me what happened and how sad she was about the turn of events. My initial feedback was, “Wow it sounds like a really bad break up.”  She looked at with me with surprised, huge eyes and said, “It feels like a bad divorce!  People I thought were my friends turned against me and I did nothing wrong.  I chose to leave my job and now my friends from work will not speak to me.”  Though my work related experiences have been different, I could empathize with how Melissa must be feeling.  She dedicated 10 years and countless hours to the success of her company and developed friendships with people who ended up being completely unreliable in a time of turbulence.  Without a doubt, when the people you care about and the people you trust let you down or turn their backs on you, it is hurtful.   The only thing I could say was she could count on me to be her friend and if someone turned their back on her, that person was likely never truly a loyal friend.  I suppose I may sound like Pollyanna, however, I have had enough situations in life when my friends have shown me they will be there for me regardless of what is happening in their lives and mine.  It reminded me how important it is to pick your team or to pick your “people” wisely.  Who has your back?

Melissa’s situation also reminded me leaving one’s comfort zone can be quite uncomfortable and disconcerting.  For Melissa, she never expected to leave her job this way and certainly never expected to leave her job at this point in her life.  One day she was doing something she enjoyed, weird politics began to surface and the next thing she knew she was sitting home wondering what happened to everything she built from a career standpoint.  It is as if she was sailing on a ship with her friends, dumped overboard and as the ship sailed away, no one looked back or bothered to throw her a life preserver.  She was left her floating in the middle of the ocean, alone.    As I spoke Melissa tonight, I realized she had been stunned by the change that is upon her.  She is slowly beginning to recuperate from the disappointment and the sadness she is feeling;  however, when I asked her what she has been doing, she informed me very little.   I wanted  to ask Melissa what she would like to do next.  I could see she is still treading water and needs time before she is ready to decide if she will swim, call for help, or ride a wave.  I told her about my friend Erin, whom Melissa knows from the gym, and Erin’s very similar circumstances at her last job.  Erin encountered some messy politics and after many uncomfortable situations made a difficult choice to submit her resignation from the corporation at which she worked for many years.  Melissa was really surprised by this news as she had no idea Erin was in the same line of work (coincidentally) and had been through a similar experience.  I informed her Erin ended up doing freelance work and by way of her freelance opportunities secured a new full time job.  We discussed a little more and I could see the wheels turning in Melissa’s head.  Why did I share someone else’s story? 1. I know Erin would be ok with it and I am hoping all 3 of us can get together soon so Melissa can see people she knows can empathize and relate to her situation. 2. I wanted to give an indirect suggestion to what direction Melissa could take. 3. I believe it helps to know you are not alone when you are feeling sad or lousy or confused about a situation in life.  When you leave your comfort zone and feel you are treading water, by talking to others, most likely you will find someone will swim over and offer you a life raft to let you know you are not alone.  Everyone needs a dose of compassion and empathy now and then whether they realize it or not.  Sometimes when you least a expect it, people you know can be more supportive and helpful than you previously considered.

Life just takes turns and open and closes door – sometimes you are ready and you are left wondering what to do next.    It takes time to figure things out when you are thrown totally off course unexpectedly.  I like to think once a person gets their bearings after being thrown into the ocean of life, new ideas come about, confidence evolves and something positive can come from what was an unpleasant experience.    I will be interested to see what Melissa does next.  What has she learned that she can carry forward and what can she leave behind?  Every experience teaches us something, if we chose to identify the lesson.  Whether we leave our comfort zone or get abruptly shoved out of our comfort zone, things always manage to work out, if up to the task.  Ask for help, build your plan, talk to people, do whatever works for you.  After the waters become clearer, I would guess most people eventually look back and say, “I never imagined I would have ended up here.”

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July 22, 2013

Sparking Inspiration

Inspiration is a funny thing.  It comes in different ways, at different times.  Understanding what inspires a person can be very informative and very telling when talking about business, ideas or plans. I often find myself asking, ‘What is your motivation behind (fill in the blank)” and perhaps a better question would be, “What inspires you to (fill in the blank).”  The response usually leads to an interesting conversation or more questions whether I am talking to a stranger, a friend or my dog’s veterinarian.

My inspiration to write usually ramps up when I feel unsettled. This is the norm when I end up posting something on this blog.  I get this jittery feeling as if I had too much coffee and when that sets in, my brains starts working and I open a blank page and start typing.  A jittery feeling is my motivation to write in some cases – sounds odd.  It is a word or an experience that takes me down a path of different thoughts and ideas to inspire me.  It is some sort of cause and effect that I will have to ponder at another time.  I suppose inspiration can be multifaceted and when it strikes you, you can either go with it or ignore it.  I find when I ignore things they eventually surface again and demand attention. When inspiration strikes and timing is conducive, sometimes it is better focus and go with the flow.  Last year, I was inspired to start painting again to open my creative side.  I ended up painting birthday cards and learned to work with paints again.

Inspiration also makes me think of time.  When struck by inspiration, the final outcome or the end result may take a few minutes, days or months.  There are times of inspiration with a speedy outcome such as finding a job posting online and submitting your resume.  When inspired to change direction in your career it may be a process or you may need to employ patience to get to the starting point you desire.  I call out a starting point because some inspiration spurns change requiring a foundation to get to arrive at your beginning.  A doctor needs to complete the educational requirements to start a career healing others. I needed paints and a tablet of paper for my creative inspiration.  What foundation do you need in place act on your inspiration? A foundation may be knowledge, training, experience, collateral, funding or self confidence to get started.  

How does one find inspiration?  Hard to say what works for any one person, though sometimes it is by pure chance.  It may come upon you while you are doing something you enjoy.  It may strike when you are watching TV or reading or eating a slice of pizza.  I tend to think inspiration comes when one is open to receive or willing to listen to a gut or intuitive feeling.  Inspiration may also come if you go looking for it.  What if you have trouble finding a source of inspiration?  I generally find talking others can help, like asking for directions; though the best sources are often the people with the best intuition in my experience (see my post about choosing your team here).  In fact, in situations when friends consult me, I just follow my intuition to help or assist in whatever way I can.  It tends to end up in an interesting conversation to spark at least a moment of inspiration to get things moving.  Today I sent an email to a friend with my point of view on an aspect of the launch of her new business and it somehow lead me to this post.  Perhaps I found my inspiration in that email and she just got spammed by me.

 

 

 

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July 17, 2013

Choose Your Team Wisely

If you were starting a new business, who would you discuss it with?  I believe anyone embarking on a new venture needs moral support and someone to help them along when they lose faith in the opportunity at hand; even more so when a person feels like they have lost it for feeling so passionate or believing in something that requires planning and effort.  The belief in the unknown can be intimidating while passion is very motivating.  It is such a human thing to believe you are on the right path  and a day later feel as those you have lost your mind or become enveloped in self doubt.

Who believes in you?  My question is intended to generate constructive thought and “no one” is an unacceptable answer.  Who in your life stands by you and believes in who you are and what you can do?  When I believe in someone I can believe in their ideas and what they wish to accomplish.  I have no explanation as to why those two things go hand in hand.  If I believe in you, I can support you and if it appears you need to rethink something I will share that with you.  I can think of many friends who have business ideas either in progress, on the radar, or in their heads.  I find it most interesting how contagious a person’s passion can be for something they believe in.  Passion is contagious and it has taught me that every person needs their own cheerleader or coach or a phantom teammate.  Someone who will listen to ideas or provide encouragement or help one see the forest from the trees.  A silent teammate is what it feels like to me.  I am on your team while you lead the way and see things through. I am on the bench waiting to help out when called upon.  I definitely play this role for some of my friends.  One of my friends is working on two different business plans.  A rodeo comes to mind when I think of all she is trying to do.  She has a lot coming at her.  When she falls off the bucking bronco someone knocks her off the horse, I run into the ring, put her back on the horse and tell her to hold tight because she is doing exactly what she is meant to do.  I even pitch in sometimes with her business plan.  Now and then I get a message for help with ideas so I run back into the ring and I jump on the horse to help her redirect for a just a short while and run back to my seat on the bench. I have no idea why I am using a rodeo metaphor.  This person neither rides horses nor lives anywhere near a rodeo but it just seemed apropos as I wrote.

I feel anyone starting a venture of any kind needs someone to help keep them on track.  Sometimes we are so deep in the weeds, a reality check is helpful as the human mind can take us to negative places and create stress, worry and discouraging thoughts. The skeptics can weigh and derail goals and ideas which can be discouraging – that is why you need to look to your team.  Everyone needs a team to surround them whether it is a team of 1 or many, it is an important part of any venture.  We all need someone to help us to get back in the saddle and remove the blinders of doubt to refocus on what needs to be accomplished to reach goals and dreams.  Nothing is every easy and the people you choose as your team can make a world of difference when it comes to encouragement and moral support.

Filed Under: Believe, blog, business, clarity, consciously aware, direction, experience, Go with the flow, Inspiration, intuition, lucrative business opportunity, motivation, passion, perspective, successful venture, thepageofaquarius, time Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
July 17, 2013

Starting Something New?!

How do you go about doing something about which you know very little?  Starting something new can be a daunting task.  How do I start? What do I do?  When do I do it?  I have been talking to various people I know about their jobs.  It is amazing how many dissatisfied people exist in Corporate America.  I would hardly say any stories I have heard are reflective of disgruntled employees; in fact, what I have heard are stories of exhaustion, stress and loss of motivation due to industry dynamics, corporate culture, layoffs and lack of resources.  Do more with less plagues most companies I would guess and I believe more often than not, executive management teams acts clueless, disinterested or in denial of how their decisions impact the people who truly support the business and a company’s customer base.

I was sitting next to a man in the airport this week and was eavesdropping on his telephone conversation.  Admittedly, I often eavesdrop as it amazes me how many people have public conversations with little awareness of who may be listening.  This man was talking about what it is like to be in sales for his company, a large cosmetics company, and how the culture has deteriorated and how invaluable his executive team makes the employee base feel.  He talked about a job interview earlier that day with a large pharmaceutical company and during the interview, the interviewer questioned his priorities.  When he said his wife and child were his the main priorities in his life, the interviewer told him that would be a problem in the sales job for which he was interviewing.  This man had to defend why his family matters to him and could not understand why anyone would question him.  I think he might be making mistake if he takes that job, if he is offered the job.  It is amazing what you can learn by eavesdropping and it is interesting to find similarities amongst strangers, friends, co-workers, acquaintances.  Most have feedback as relates to company expectations, attitude of management, pay grades, product performance and quality of life.  I will say there are some outliers as I have heard great things about a well known technology company, for example; though I am beginning to believe “good places” to work are becoming the outlier.  How many people wake up excited to go to work versus full of dread and stress?

 When I talk to someone about their experience and feelings about how their job, it is interesting to hear what a person would rather be doing. I have a friend who would like to work at Walmart rather than in his sales job.  I have another friend who would rather make donuts all day than go to the office.  It seems the rusty, sinking cruise ship that is the majority of Corporate America is struggling to understand what keeps employees happy and what matters to employees.  The outliers have it right yet the rest of Corporate America seems to be unwilling to flex.

 So what to do?  Every since the whole “we are in a Recession” period, the idea of small business elevating the economy has resonated with me.  Personally, I enjoy helping someone brainstorm what else they can do to earn money independently versus working for a large corporation. I find it fascinating to hear one’s ideas and interesting to help formulate a plan towards making ideas a reality. I realize not everyone can start a business and some people are happy as nurses or teachers or butchers or lawyers.  However, I believe there are many people out there who have something to offer the world of small business and consumers and hold back for reasons related to fear of failure, finances, change, and experience.

In conversations with people, I often find myself saying “Wow you would be really successful doing this or that as your own business.”  I have a friend who has an amazing eye for interior design.  She is on the Corporate Fast Track in her global company and is finally getting burnt out.  For years, I have believed when she gets sick of being uber successful in Corporate America, she will start her own business and have fun building a successful venture.  My friend recently bought a house to flip for fun and I have asked her to start a blog so others can see how she works and what amazing taste she has in color, fabric, and design.  I really believe this could be the start of a brand new direction for her and really look forward to seeing where she is in 5 years.

 Perhaps it time for many of us to take step back and really evaluate what we are doing with our time.  Understandably paychecks help us put food on the table and a roof over our heads.  However, how many people out there do something in their free time that may be a lucrative business opportunity? Would you like to do something you enjoy, something you can do daily and not feel like it is a grind to get through the day?  I have been thinking about how to help people I meet turn something enjoyable into something profitable.  Start your own business and see the business differently.  Lay down the ground work, start with a few steps, take a leap of faith.  Perhaps the best way to improve Corporate America is to find a new direction entirely.

 

Filed Under: balancing act, blog, business, clarity, corporate america, direction, experience, help, Inspiration, lucrative business opportunity, motivation, outliers, passion, perspective, potential, Purpose, success, successful venture Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment