October 26, 2013

That Clock Is Chasing Me!

Do you ever find your approach to organizing your week ends up being the approach you take for your weekend?  During the week, everything I do is according to what time I have to be somewhere, what time I have a conference call or a meeting, and by what time I hope to get to bed at night.  I need less of that on the weekend and get into such a routine of living by a schedule getting away from that on the weekend can be challenging.

I had to travel to Atlanta for work this week.  As I was on my way to the airport to fly home, I was sitting in traffic on 285W thinking living on a timetable can be exhausting.  I spent my day in meetings with an invisible clock looming over my head.  90 minute meeting with one group, 30 minutes for this person, can I afford to eat lunch, 5 minutes with this person and if I leave the office later than 2:30pm I might miss my flight.  I spend a lot of time mentally calculating the minutes as I rotate through meetings and whatnot so I can fit everything in.  As I was sitting in traffic, the clock was still looming.  It kept reminding me traffic was in the way of my perfectly timed return to the airport, rental car return, and the circus that is security at the airport. I was in such a rush I bought a late lunch in the terminal and found myself eating a chicken sandwich that I would probably normally throw out ( waste not want not, what?).  In retrospect, I think cafeteria food would have been better.  I was so hungry and felt I had no time to give thought to anything except getting to the gate.  When the plane finally boarded, I just inserted myself in the boarding line.  Normally my attitude is, everyone will get on the plane so who cares when I get on the plane.  Yesterday, I wanted to sit down so badly and disconnect my brain, I was one of those people who was ready to bum rush the plane.  Living the rat race life for sure.

I woke up this morning and revolted against myself.  My whole week involved a schedule that had nothing to do with me and only what I must do to do my job.  It was wholly exhausting and time consuming.  Usually I push myself out of bed on a Saturday morning to get things done.  Today I stayed in bed till 10:00am because I decided who cares what I need to get done, bed is better.  I resolved to do nothing today requiring an agenda and decided to ignore the clock and my nagging pragmatic self.  What difference does it make if I do not get “stuff” done?  I did, however, decide to do things I have wanted to do all week versus needed to do.  A day of, “oh this is what I WANT to do right now.  Now I WANT to do this.”  Instead of “I need to get this, that, and the other thing done and how do I find the time.”  What I want to do takes very little effort; often anything I need to do is a chore so I opted for “want to do” today.  I find the days when I can ignore the clock that normally chases me to be much more relaxing and perhaps even more productive.  My brain certainly seems to be bouncing around less than it was and the numbing feeling that is created by keeping on top of everything has subsided.  (Maybe numb brain is only unique to me when the brain is on overload; however, I really feel like my brain is frozen sometimes).

I often say my brain is just going to quit on me or move out and find a new home.  I run it ragged.  I am sure many people have the same problem.  My brain must feel like it runs an ultra-marathon every day.  Recently one of my friends said she wishes her brain worked like mine because it is always “working” on something.  Funny thing is, I laughed at that statement and told her my brain is exhausting.  I am not sure if it is enviable!  I suppose it is just another reminder that I have to hit the stop button sometimes and just be less regimented. Do what I want and do what I enjoy; instead of requiring myself to meet timelines or to do things in a specific way every day of the week.  I always try to remind myself: if the words should or have to are part of my day, I am probably doing something as a result of some obligation or requirement either placed upon me by my own doing or something else’s.  I prefer ‘I want to’ because it usually proves to be energizing versus tiring.  And even when ‘I want to’ is tiring, it is usually satisfying and positive.

That said, I want to stop writing now because I want to go to the gym.  I have one place I am going later today that requires adherence to a schedule – the movies.  I can live with that!  Thank you for reading this blog!

 

Filed Under: balancing act, Life Lessons, perspective, power, practice, thepageofaquarius, time Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
August 30, 2013

Change This, Change That

There are a bazillion things you can do with your life.  There are a bazillion ways you can change things in your life. How do you decide what and when and how?  Change can be difficult without a doubt.  Changing habits, changing patterns, changing beliefs, changing lifestyle, changing your shoes, changing anything you can think of has its challenges.  Some changes are more challenging than others.  Maybe change can be fun, maybe it can be tedious or maybe it is just a necessity.

There are people who know me who will say I am a creature of habit; though I guess I do have a hard time picking things about me that are “creature of habit-isms.” Since the age of 10, I have always appreciated consistency and stability so I guess that is a creature of habit-ism.  It stems from moving.  My family uprooted to a new state when I was 10 and it changed my life so much that I think from then on, I have been inclined towards predictable.  Moving away from what was familiar to an entirely new place was a big deal for me.  I was unable to express how I felt or what was bothering me so my Mom had to deal with a lot of 10 year drama when I started at my new school. Kids in my class were picking on me and teasing me which was opposite of my experience in my prior school. I knew everyone, we all went to elementary school together, I was hardly aware of my height or my braces – till I went to a new school, in a new state and something changed!  When I think about that time in my life, I find myself saying, “Ohhhh maybe that is why I like a home base” or “Ohhhh may that is why it would take a lot to get me to move far away”.  I tend to reflect on life experiences that have given me reason to pause based on circumstance or situation.  I wonder what my perspective would have been if I felt like moving was an adventure as a 10 year old?  Adjusting was something that eluded my vocabulary upon setting foot in New Jersey.  I never knew then to change my perspective about the circumstances at hand.  Change can be forced, change can be weird, change can be tough, change can just happen whether you are ready for it or are asleep at the wheel.

On a lighter note, change with awareness can be quite good.  For the last two weeks, I have been on a perimeter of the grocery store breakfast, lunch, dinner plan with a daily stop at Starbucks (need latte) and the occasional non-perimeter snack.  Call me Captain Obvious but this little change has really made me feel better when I workout and after I workout and has given me more energy in the morning.  I have been researching new things to eat and to prepare and am amazed how much healthier my eating habits have been. Less sugar and less dairy have really given me more energy when I workout.  Hardly rocket science but revealing to me since I considered myself a healthy eater (with a penchant for cookies…and the cake pops at Starbucks). Changing what you eat and how much water you drink, really does a body good. Making a change and seeing positive results is motivation to continue down a path and to look for other things to tweak and modify.  When it comes to how you eat or what you drink, one has to want to change otherwise it feels like a chore.  I remember when my Dad had a heart attack, the next day, while in the ICU, he said, “Well I guess I can never eat escargot again.”  As if he ever eats escargot?  However, he was in a hospital bed thinking of all the things he could suddenly no longer eat because he had a rude awakening into the life of a cardiac patient.  The escargot statement did teach me it is better to make changes on my own volition rather than being forced in another direction by circumstances I could have controlled or influenced.  

Is it possible to feel every change as a good change?  I am unsure, however, it possible that whatever happens, the outcome may always ended up better than expected.  In the case of my grocery store perimeter meals, at first it was quite torturous.  I really felt like it was torture to change my ways and avoid my favorite yogurt and sweet treats for two weeks (Chobani Flips are like dessert yet yogurt, do try). After a full week suddenly the discomfort dissipated and I also found some healthier alternatives to my standard sweet treats.  I survived the change of habit!  I am hardly strict with myself (as noted by the corn bread I ate tonight) as everyone needs a treat here and there!  However, I am liking the change.

 

Filed Under: balancing act, Believe, experience, Life Lessons, motivation, perspective, success, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
August 24, 2013

Turn Your Habits Around

While trying unsuccessfully to use my brain while on vacation, I did find myself thinking about habits.  What habits do you have that really fail to serve a beneficial purpose?  At that moment, I actually had a block as relates to my bad habits and put the idea on a mental shelf.  Sometimes things fall off the mental shelf while I am commuting and that was the case while I was sitting in traffic this week.

One of my worst habits is worrying.  I worry about work matters that are outside my control and how to manage client perception. Worry really is an exercise in futility as there are just some things I can do little about except take it all in stride.  Such is life in Corporate America!  Why keep myself up at night or create unnecessary stress if situations and environmental circumstances are caused by someone or something else?  I am finding it is better to empathize with my clients or be honest with my clients when they discuss pain points.  I try to always tell the truth when something goes awry in a professional, palatable manner. Rather than subjecting myself to worry and stress, I find it easier to take off the business mask and just have a human conversation.  Mistakes happen, nothing is perfect and we do the best we can.  I have been working to shift my thoughts anytime the little worry voice in my head pops up.  Once I realize I am starting down the worry path, I do my best to stop myself and focus on something totally different and positive.  The mind is a really funny thing.

Another thing that came to mind: eating and sleeping habits.  Generally I lean towards healthy foods and I exercise regularly.  There are times when it is just easier to eat chips for dinner or a few cookies for breakfast and slack off at the gym because I am too tired to do anything.  ( I support eating dessert for breakfast because why must it only be served after dinner?)  However, I realized over the course of several months, my work related stress levels have been increasing, my sleeping patterns were inconsistent – staying up too late, getting up really early or sleeping really late. Exhaustion and stress were driving me to want more sweets while also taking energy away from my workouts.  After vacation I decided to give myself a break.  I realized I need to take a step back and be more regimented about how I eat and how I sleep as I had fallen off course sometime in the Spring.  Bed by 10:30pm is my goal so waking up is easier in the morning.  I follow a number of nutrition/healthy lifestyle blogs and found some new food and recipe ideas and noted a few key things:

  • Eat for nutrition, not for fun.  Cookies or breakfast are tasty! I feel much more energetic after a plate of protein pancakes or a bowl of oatmeal or Greek yogurt with fruit and granola.  I knew this and had forgotten somehow?

  • Drink more water.  It is my go to beverage but I have been so busy and preoccupied I really had only been drinking water at the gym. Dehydration = tired.  And hardly economical admittedly – I have been buying 50 oz bottles of water to drink over the course of a day.  I will buy a water bottle to take with me, bottled water has been a stop gap.

  • Figure out what works for you with different resources.  When I cook something, I read many recipes to find the combination of ingredients I want to use to create my own recipe.  I did the same this week.  I read different blogs and found the things that work for me to get back on track.  I was reminded of some things, learned new things about different and new foods  and learned new things about nutrition.   I always find new and different perspective when I read what regular people are doing.  Some of the blogs I read and follow on Twitter/Instagram are:

There are other habits I gave thought to, however, I decided to address those that impact my quality of life first.  I did have a big fat pork chop for dinner last night and shared strawberry shortcake for dessert, so by no means have I given up eating for enjoyment!  However, I went to bed at a reasonable time, woke up at 7:30am and ate a healthy breakfast (plain Chobani with nectarines, strawberries and granola), hit the gym for over an hour, and made a healthy lunch.   Moderation as they always say and avoid deprivation!

I suppose habits that lack benefit to life style, quality of life, health, etc only steer us away from what serves us well.   It happens and when you realize it, it takes little effort to shift things around and get back on the better path.

 

Filed Under: balancing act, clarity, consciously aware, direction, experience, Inspiration, Purpose Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
August 20, 2013

Feet Up, Unplugged

In this day in age, we all just need to unplug from the day to day routine periodically.  Turn off laptops, phone devices, tablets, ebooks, stop taking work calls and disconnect for awhile.  I did this last week while on vacation at the seashore and when I returned to civilization, I felt so good.  It was liberating to spend a week away from the interruptive technology of my daily routine.  Losing the feeling that compels me to check email and reply to clients disappeared for several days.  Admittedly, I had a personal mobile phone with me but I even left that in my bedroom or my purse to give myself a break.  I tried to be productive while I was on vacation, however, that was a futile effort.  My brain was refusing to participate in anything productive such as reading a book, writing, doing a crossword.  My brain was fried even though my body was ready to get out. My brain won over and I barely did anything except focus on what I would eat for lunch each day.  On my first day of vacation, I sat on the porch unable to move.  I spent the entire day sitting on the porch, planning to head to the beach though I made no movement to do so.  I finally gave up on plans to move off the porch around 4pm.  Why fight it?  Sitting back with my feet up was working just fine.  By the end of the week, I realized it was the first week of good sleep I had had in awhile. 11pm – 7am every day and no feeling of dread or angst about the work day ahead.  Instead, I feel totally at ease (cue Lionel Ritchie), easy like Sunday morning. That comes to mind because I woke up several times wondering what day it was as every day felt like Sunday. Relaxed, low key and lazy.

Some people are really good at taking vacation, I am guilty of ending up with unused days at the end of every year.  I follow a blog ( one of many) and the writer advises looking at the calendar at beginning of the year and planning vacation time ahead.  I now understand why she advises this though it has taken me awhile to see the value.  Everyone needs a break and it you wait too long to do it, it requires a lot more rest and relaxation to get back to “normal.”  If you wait to long, you end up crunched for time and with leftover vacation days.

That is all I have to say for now.  My brain is still in vacation mode.  When I returned to work today, I felt like a fish swimming upstream as a week away took away my stride.  However, I was much more patient with myself and everything requiring my attention.  Planning time off before the end of the year is on the list.

 

Filed Under: balancing act, blog, experience, healing, Life Lessons Tagged With: , , , , , , Leave a Comment
July 17, 2013

Starting Something New?!

How do you go about doing something about which you know very little?  Starting something new can be a daunting task.  How do I start? What do I do?  When do I do it?  I have been talking to various people I know about their jobs.  It is amazing how many dissatisfied people exist in Corporate America.  I would hardly say any stories I have heard are reflective of disgruntled employees; in fact, what I have heard are stories of exhaustion, stress and loss of motivation due to industry dynamics, corporate culture, layoffs and lack of resources.  Do more with less plagues most companies I would guess and I believe more often than not, executive management teams acts clueless, disinterested or in denial of how their decisions impact the people who truly support the business and a company’s customer base.

I was sitting next to a man in the airport this week and was eavesdropping on his telephone conversation.  Admittedly, I often eavesdrop as it amazes me how many people have public conversations with little awareness of who may be listening.  This man was talking about what it is like to be in sales for his company, a large cosmetics company, and how the culture has deteriorated and how invaluable his executive team makes the employee base feel.  He talked about a job interview earlier that day with a large pharmaceutical company and during the interview, the interviewer questioned his priorities.  When he said his wife and child were his the main priorities in his life, the interviewer told him that would be a problem in the sales job for which he was interviewing.  This man had to defend why his family matters to him and could not understand why anyone would question him.  I think he might be making mistake if he takes that job, if he is offered the job.  It is amazing what you can learn by eavesdropping and it is interesting to find similarities amongst strangers, friends, co-workers, acquaintances.  Most have feedback as relates to company expectations, attitude of management, pay grades, product performance and quality of life.  I will say there are some outliers as I have heard great things about a well known technology company, for example; though I am beginning to believe “good places” to work are becoming the outlier.  How many people wake up excited to go to work versus full of dread and stress?

 When I talk to someone about their experience and feelings about how their job, it is interesting to hear what a person would rather be doing. I have a friend who would like to work at Walmart rather than in his sales job.  I have another friend who would rather make donuts all day than go to the office.  It seems the rusty, sinking cruise ship that is the majority of Corporate America is struggling to understand what keeps employees happy and what matters to employees.  The outliers have it right yet the rest of Corporate America seems to be unwilling to flex.

 So what to do?  Every since the whole “we are in a Recession” period, the idea of small business elevating the economy has resonated with me.  Personally, I enjoy helping someone brainstorm what else they can do to earn money independently versus working for a large corporation. I find it fascinating to hear one’s ideas and interesting to help formulate a plan towards making ideas a reality. I realize not everyone can start a business and some people are happy as nurses or teachers or butchers or lawyers.  However, I believe there are many people out there who have something to offer the world of small business and consumers and hold back for reasons related to fear of failure, finances, change, and experience.

In conversations with people, I often find myself saying “Wow you would be really successful doing this or that as your own business.”  I have a friend who has an amazing eye for interior design.  She is on the Corporate Fast Track in her global company and is finally getting burnt out.  For years, I have believed when she gets sick of being uber successful in Corporate America, she will start her own business and have fun building a successful venture.  My friend recently bought a house to flip for fun and I have asked her to start a blog so others can see how she works and what amazing taste she has in color, fabric, and design.  I really believe this could be the start of a brand new direction for her and really look forward to seeing where she is in 5 years.

 Perhaps it time for many of us to take step back and really evaluate what we are doing with our time.  Understandably paychecks help us put food on the table and a roof over our heads.  However, how many people out there do something in their free time that may be a lucrative business opportunity? Would you like to do something you enjoy, something you can do daily and not feel like it is a grind to get through the day?  I have been thinking about how to help people I meet turn something enjoyable into something profitable.  Start your own business and see the business differently.  Lay down the ground work, start with a few steps, take a leap of faith.  Perhaps the best way to improve Corporate America is to find a new direction entirely.

 

Filed Under: balancing act, blog, business, clarity, corporate america, direction, experience, help, Inspiration, lucrative business opportunity, motivation, outliers, passion, perspective, potential, Purpose, success, successful venture Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
June 29, 2013

Brain Matters

What do you do to totally shift gears?  Everyone has something they enjoy doing outside the daily or regular routine.  It may be something forgotten or left behind from years ago. How many times have you given thought to things you once enjoyed and would like to pick up again? I tend to be heavily left brained (logical, analytical) and as a result hardly ever give my brain a rest.  I have spent many years ignoring the right brained me thus ignoring my creative, intuitive side. My right brain ruled when I was much younger and at some point my analytical (or pragmatic) side took over.  It is effortless to lean on my creative, intuitive side yet it seems impractical in my daily life and at work.

When I meet people I always wonder what they enjoy doing that is unrelated to work, finances, and the responsibilities of daily life. I believe everyone has a creative side and it is either pushed aside by everything else in life; or it is alive and well.  If pushed aside, your creative side can be resurrected.  It is just a matter of recognizing what gives you relief from the things that tax your brain or are a source of stress.  I find cooking and baking to be therapeutic.  I forget everything else on my mind when I am focused on something I am making in the kitchen. There was a point in time when my current job was numbing my brain.  I felt like I needed to do something in my spare time that was completely different. I enjoy foreign languages and pick them up much faster than, say, a spreadsheet full of numbers and formulas. I started taking Spanish classes for fun which turned out to be a great way to shift gears after work. It is was almost a relief to open a Spanish workbook to learn to conjugate verbs after a day pouring over pricing and budget numbers.  I also enjoy painting with watercolors.  A friend of mine knew I was keeping a somewhat artistic side under wraps and encouraged me to paint around this time last summer. I had not touched a paintbrush in many years; but when I sat down with new brushes and my block of paper, it felt really good. Though I have nothing on Matisse, Klimt or Van Gogh, I do what comes naturally to me.  I put my paints and brushes away months ago and it is about time to take them out again.

Perhaps it is a balancing act.  How do we balance what comes naturally with what requires more effort and persistence?  How do we give ourselves a break?  On some level it is an art form, I suppose, in staying focused on what needs to get done and what you enjoy.  I work with someone in my sales group who is very buttoned up and very data inclined; yet on the weekends sings in a heavy metal cover band.  I would have never guessed this person is musically inclined, much less covering Metallica’s greatest hits. As I think about it, it is probably better for one’s health and well being to unleash that creative side to really exercise the brain. It is really a great way to detach from the day to day. On the flip side, maybe a professional artist needs a few hours a day of crunching numbers?  In my mind, it would be ideal to leverage both the left and the right brain at work or in life in general.  It seems healthy – like a good workout at the gym.  Tap into the analytical side and the intuitive or creative side and see what happens instead of overusing one or stifling the other.  

Filed Under: art form, balancing act, brain, Inspiration, intuitive, left brain, Life Lessons, passion, right brain, therapeutic Tagged With: , , , , , , , Leave a Comment