January 6, 2014

Wake Up And Change

Back to reality.  Ok well maybe not reality, maybe just a full 5 day work week.  I am trying to prevent my brain from remembering the regular chaos of my usual work day and instead focus on how nice the last few weeks have been.  My schedule has been so flexible and I have gotten so much done with all of my free time. Vacation and sleep are awesome.  I woke up every day with that thought – sleep is awesome. On a non-vacation day, I find myself moving at a zillion miles an hour while cramming more into my awake hours than I should while sacrificing sleep hours.  Between work and taking care of things non-work related in my life, if I slow down, I tend to THINK I am being lazy and/or unproductive.  When in reality, I usually need more rest than I allow myself – how silly is that?  My norm of 6-hours of sleep is really sub par.

As I sit here still in a mode of relaxation after two stress free weeks, I can see the forest from the trees.  I am hardly a lazy person yet I will push myself out of bed every day because I “have to get moving!” I have tried to get away from that for the last few weeks by staying in bed till 9:30am or 10:00am – something I have not done regularly since college. Usually I feel like I am going to miss out on the day or will never accomplish what I feel I need to do in the time I have.  However, today, I got out of bed at 9:30am and did everything I had planned to do and have plenty of free time tonight.  I follow @sandikrakowski on Twitter and Instagram and something she posted today (slightly edited by me) resonated with me:

“REST- it’s a spiritual principle that so many people forget or misunderstand…Rest is emotional, physical and spiritual. It’s when we purposefully lay aside things so we can be renewed, elevated and given strength…It is not on laziness. To push ourselves and feel false guilt when we should rest is an evil spirit…Rest will set you apart. It dissolves anxiety and all negativity trying to infect your life…Rest then solidifies the growth…take time to just BE.” Sandi Krakowski

I am very guilty of hardly spending time to just BE – partially because my brain never rests, partially because I put guilt on myself, partially due to the corporate culture I work in.  I definitely allow my frenetic work environment spill over into my free time and that is less than ideal for many reasons.  I know I am not a lazy person and yet I often resist the opportunity to rest, unless I am forced by illness or exhaustion.  There is always something that needs to be done.  Must plow through.  Must do as much as possible.  My work schedule is so rigid, people in my company are constantly working all hours of the night, and I definitely get caught up in a mentality that hardly promotes rest. I am sure many people are this way.  Many people get wound up in the rat race and get swept away by the lunacy that can be a corporate environment. That said, I do what I have to do because I love my paycheck.  Stress, exhaustion, pressure to an extreme hardly benefit the emotional, physical and spiritual self.  I do feel a moderate amount of stress and pressure drive the motivation for success; however, when you feel like a doormat at the end of every week, it is too much and something needs to change.  I think the biggest issue I have is setting boundaries.  My parents and my friends have been telling me for years I work too much and need to set boundaries with my job.  I finally agree.  I tend to think corporate culture today wrings the life out of its people for margins and investors. There are no boundaries – I have had conference calls as late as 11:30pm for the almighty dollar…which might make sense if I were earning millions of dollars…but nah.  Welcome to Capitalism?  Or is the corporate culture just outdated and very disjointed?

What to do with this?  Well I guess I will look at the year ahead and work to keep myself in check.  Know when to lose my Blackberry.  Know when to take a day off and learn to better prioritize my free time…or something.  I have to keep these thoughts top of mind as this needs to become part of my daily practice.  Some may say this is New Year’s resolution.  For me this is an unplanned realization as a result of stepping away from the day to day.  It is time to change things up, set boundaries and change my thought processes about the obligations I place upon myself.

Thank you for reading this blog!

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January 2, 2014

New Year, New Ways

Changing it up, moving things around and doing things your way.  I guess everyone sees January 1st as a chance to start fresh. I like the idea of standing on the starting line now and looking back in December to see how far I have come or what goals I have attained or what goals have fallen by the wayside.

I have been away from my blog for quite some time as my day job required all of my free time from Thanksgiving till Christmas. During that time I kept thinking, “Ugh when will I have time to write posts for my blog.”  However, I had to prioritize things since my income is what pays the bills for internet access!  I was working morning, noon and night with breaks for meals and the gym and that is about it.  It was slightly poetic because as I was winding up my workload for 2013 and getting ready to start my Christmas vacation, I was thinking about blog topics…and BOOM!  Hard drive crashed and was toast.  I am very fortunate to have brothers who are technically savvy so they dug me out of that technology inconvenience.  My younger brother found me a good deal on a hard drive and software and my older brother retrieved everything on my old hard drive and rebuilt my computer.  Team effort for sure.  My computer was all ready for me right before Christmas and since I was busy wrapping, grocery shopping, cooking and celebrating I decided to put off writing till after Christmas…or not.  I woke up early in the morning on Boxing Day with a stomach virus (my 4th stomach virus of 2013, it has to be a record).  I was buried in bed till 4pm the day after Christmas and was not back to myself for several days.  I just decided it was a sign that I needed to be offline for the duration of the holiday season.  I worked a bazillion hours in December and was running at full speed up through Christmas so it was just my time to slow down. Thus here I am.  

It is January 1st and I suspect my workload will be monumental as soon as everyone resurfaces from the holiday haze.  However, I have made a little promise to myself to get back to writing regularly.  I am hesitant to say ‘resolution’ as it is more of a get back in the saddle thing.  This is how I see starting the New Year versus the concept of setting New Year’s resolutions.  Resolve to do something?  Or just begin to do something different, in your own way.  You can look at it any way you wish.  I just know the start of new year makes me think about what I want to do in the next 12 months and even perhaps beyond 12 months.  Anything that happens is up to me whether it means changing my approach, changing my perspective or doing what suits me without being to rigid.  Someone I know always says, “No one ever says things are so amazing, I think I will change!”  I believe the impetus for change is something in your life that is less than optimal. It could be anything from the way your jeans fit to how you spend money to the color of the paint on your walls.  “This is not working for me” leads to “what and how can I change” (if not, you need to reassess, in my opinion).  Figure out what has been holding you back or what has been bothering you or the things you have wanted to do and think through how to make things happen – differently and  in a way that suits you.  It need not be a resolution but more of a goal.  For example, I would like to write at least once a week, it is my goal versus something I will resolve to do.  Resolution suggests obligation, goal suggests working towards a successful outcome.  If I can write twice or three times in a week that is a bonus.  If something happens and I am unable to write one week, perhaps I can recycle a previous post or just give myself a break.  It works best if I set myself up to succeed versus creating stringent guidelines and rules.  That is my way and what works for me.  Something else might work for you, though all I can say is set yourself up to succeed so you feel good about what you reflect on at the end of 2014.  Be forgiving if something falls by the wayside and if you have to change things up half way through the year, that is okay too!  Happy New Year to you and best wishes for a joyous and successful 2014.  Thank you for reading this blog!

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October 23, 2013

The Power of Positive What?

Where does confidence go when it leaves? I have times when it is tough to convince myself “I can do it.”  Maybe it is a normal part of life?  To feel clueless or unsure of how to accomplish a task or tasks at hand can be quite discouraging.  I read a quote today, “if you cannot change your situation, change how you think about it.”  This is very sound advice, however, sometimes changing the way you think can be challenging, for me at least. I realize we control our thoughts and we control our destiny, but I cannot discount the days, when I wake up thinking, “Not this again.”

When confidence goes, it is hard to be positive.  It is a domino effect that you have to keep in check so it is never gets out of control. Oh yes – revert to the power of positive thinking.  It works miracles,  most of the time. However, sometimes, I just need a few days off from the power of positive thinking.  There are so many things around us outside of our control and many things we just have to accept and roll with.  It can be really challenging to be a ray of sunshine on days when pulling the covers over your head feels like the best escape from…well…nothing.  Nothing ever resolves itself by hiding under the covers so I opt for just leaving the positive thinking to others.  Sometimes it just has to be that way.  I was talking to one of my friends today who said, “Maybe I could  just win the lottery instead of going to work every day.”  Always a good business plan regardless of whether it’s realistic. Who can say they have never had a lottery dream?  Her follow up comment was, “Oh the power of positive thinking!”  I told her I would have to leave the positivity to her today and I would just sit on the bench.  It works well sometimes. Just sit on the sidelines for a little while with a big “BOO, HISS” sign and let people around you provide the cheerleader effect.  You can do it!  This too shall pass!  Just let it go!  It is good to have friends to trade off with at times.I know I try to find the good in every situation, no matter how annoying my friends may find it…especially when they would rather sit on the sidelines and leave the positivity to me (I better ask Google is positivity is actually a word).

This too shall pass is what my Mom has said since I was a little kid. I have adopted it myself and find it to be a relevant statement in many situations.  I know I get bogged down in day to day things and sometimes I feel like I am dragging a boulder behind me.  The boulder just drags everything with it.  Confidence, positive thinking, rays of sunshine flat as pancakes.  (I have the image of those words being flattened by a giant boulder in my head).  I wonder what it would be like to look at me right now, from an outsiders point of view.  Would others know about the pile of word pancakes I am dragging behind me?  I guess it would be better to pick up those pancakes, fold them up, and stick them in my pocket (or my laptop bag, as the case may be).  Inevitably, I will unfold them and let them fly again so why drag them in the dirt?  I think an itty bitty bit of positive thinking just creeped out of me – not sure how that happened – as I thought it was gone for the week.  Maybe this too shall pass will be around 7pm Friday night.  Or maybe when I wake up on Saturday morning.  I think I will set a deadline for myself and go do something to occupy my time until I feel like tackling the world of all things possible again.

Thank you for reading this blog!

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September 21, 2013

Are The Right People Around You?

Building upon an idea requires the right people to provide support or to add insight .  My vision is fuzzy when it comes to visualizing color and creative interpretation.  I am working on a blog makeover and when I made the decision to do this, I felt like I was standing in a strange city without a map or GPS.  I was unsure of how to approach my vision.  On a whim, I reached out to someone I found online who has a side business of creative design for blogs and websites.  When I shared my vision, she replied with some abstract ideas that I loved.You know you have found the right person when you see their suggestions and say, “WOW! I love this!”  I can be a very literal person and while I can do many things, envisioning a creative or artistic design is difficult for me.  I can describe what I want and convey what inspires me but bringing that together into a picture can be tedious!  I need someone who can help me interpret my vision or show how colors or patterns can be complementary.

My strengths lie in areas that are less artsy and more logical.  I can envision ideas on a practical level and come up with concepts. When it comes to colors, coordination and aesthetics, it is a struggle.  I knew I had to find someone who could help me with my blog idea.  There are some things just better left to people have skill sets that are different than mine.  Plus, I really have little interest in doing creative design or blog design and much prefer the surprise of someone else’s interpretation and ability to run with a vision or an idea.  Ask me how to solve a problem, I can probably come up with a solution.  Ask me to pick out fabrics or patterns or colors for anything and you may see a blank look on my face.

It brings me to the idea of understanding your “power”.  What are the tools you have intuitively and naturally that you can share with someone else to help them along whatever path they are on?  What do you hold in your hands (figuratively) that you can work with and use that may be stifled or collecting dust?  We all have something and it can vary from ability to fix things to baking cakes to interior design to writing. Recognizing what you do well is really important.  Recognizing where it would be helpful to hire help or to have someone pitch in is always will serve anyone better.  It comes down to knowing your strengths and capitalizing and knowing your weaknesses and accepting them.  It takes so much more effort to try to make a weakness a strength and so little effort to ask someone if they can help when it would be most beneficial. For example, I have a friend who may as well be a professional shopper/stylist.  She has taught me how to incorporate colors and style into my wardrobe in ways that I can repeat on my own.  However, every now and then, I need her assistance shopping because she has a eye for fashion and I do the best I can.  When you ask for help or hire someone, make sure you have people who are excellent at what they do and make sure you choose people who will show up. Consistent. Reliable. Trustworthy. Objective. Present. Supportive. These are the words that come to mind for me when I think of who I want to working with me.  It is important to gather the right people to support your vision else you may find things slow down or do not turn out as you envision.  If you are lacking what you need in the people around you, make a change.  If you find yourself going to a person who understands your vision or can give you helpful objective or even actionable feedback or advice, then you have the right person. Know when to run with what or who you have and know when to bring someone new on board and to make a change to benefit your path.

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August 30, 2013

Change This, Change That

There are a bazillion things you can do with your life.  There are a bazillion ways you can change things in your life. How do you decide what and when and how?  Change can be difficult without a doubt.  Changing habits, changing patterns, changing beliefs, changing lifestyle, changing your shoes, changing anything you can think of has its challenges.  Some changes are more challenging than others.  Maybe change can be fun, maybe it can be tedious or maybe it is just a necessity.

There are people who know me who will say I am a creature of habit; though I guess I do have a hard time picking things about me that are “creature of habit-isms.” Since the age of 10, I have always appreciated consistency and stability so I guess that is a creature of habit-ism.  It stems from moving.  My family uprooted to a new state when I was 10 and it changed my life so much that I think from then on, I have been inclined towards predictable.  Moving away from what was familiar to an entirely new place was a big deal for me.  I was unable to express how I felt or what was bothering me so my Mom had to deal with a lot of 10 year drama when I started at my new school. Kids in my class were picking on me and teasing me which was opposite of my experience in my prior school. I knew everyone, we all went to elementary school together, I was hardly aware of my height or my braces – till I went to a new school, in a new state and something changed!  When I think about that time in my life, I find myself saying, “Ohhhh maybe that is why I like a home base” or “Ohhhh may that is why it would take a lot to get me to move far away”.  I tend to reflect on life experiences that have given me reason to pause based on circumstance or situation.  I wonder what my perspective would have been if I felt like moving was an adventure as a 10 year old?  Adjusting was something that eluded my vocabulary upon setting foot in New Jersey.  I never knew then to change my perspective about the circumstances at hand.  Change can be forced, change can be weird, change can be tough, change can just happen whether you are ready for it or are asleep at the wheel.

On a lighter note, change with awareness can be quite good.  For the last two weeks, I have been on a perimeter of the grocery store breakfast, lunch, dinner plan with a daily stop at Starbucks (need latte) and the occasional non-perimeter snack.  Call me Captain Obvious but this little change has really made me feel better when I workout and after I workout and has given me more energy in the morning.  I have been researching new things to eat and to prepare and am amazed how much healthier my eating habits have been. Less sugar and less dairy have really given me more energy when I workout.  Hardly rocket science but revealing to me since I considered myself a healthy eater (with a penchant for cookies…and the cake pops at Starbucks). Changing what you eat and how much water you drink, really does a body good. Making a change and seeing positive results is motivation to continue down a path and to look for other things to tweak and modify.  When it comes to how you eat or what you drink, one has to want to change otherwise it feels like a chore.  I remember when my Dad had a heart attack, the next day, while in the ICU, he said, “Well I guess I can never eat escargot again.”  As if he ever eats escargot?  However, he was in a hospital bed thinking of all the things he could suddenly no longer eat because he had a rude awakening into the life of a cardiac patient.  The escargot statement did teach me it is better to make changes on my own volition rather than being forced in another direction by circumstances I could have controlled or influenced.  

Is it possible to feel every change as a good change?  I am unsure, however, it possible that whatever happens, the outcome may always ended up better than expected.  In the case of my grocery store perimeter meals, at first it was quite torturous.  I really felt like it was torture to change my ways and avoid my favorite yogurt and sweet treats for two weeks (Chobani Flips are like dessert yet yogurt, do try). After a full week suddenly the discomfort dissipated and I also found some healthier alternatives to my standard sweet treats.  I survived the change of habit!  I am hardly strict with myself (as noted by the corn bread I ate tonight) as everyone needs a treat here and there!  However, I am liking the change.

 

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July 17, 2013

Starting Something New?!

How do you go about doing something about which you know very little?  Starting something new can be a daunting task.  How do I start? What do I do?  When do I do it?  I have been talking to various people I know about their jobs.  It is amazing how many dissatisfied people exist in Corporate America.  I would hardly say any stories I have heard are reflective of disgruntled employees; in fact, what I have heard are stories of exhaustion, stress and loss of motivation due to industry dynamics, corporate culture, layoffs and lack of resources.  Do more with less plagues most companies I would guess and I believe more often than not, executive management teams acts clueless, disinterested or in denial of how their decisions impact the people who truly support the business and a company’s customer base.

I was sitting next to a man in the airport this week and was eavesdropping on his telephone conversation.  Admittedly, I often eavesdrop as it amazes me how many people have public conversations with little awareness of who may be listening.  This man was talking about what it is like to be in sales for his company, a large cosmetics company, and how the culture has deteriorated and how invaluable his executive team makes the employee base feel.  He talked about a job interview earlier that day with a large pharmaceutical company and during the interview, the interviewer questioned his priorities.  When he said his wife and child were his the main priorities in his life, the interviewer told him that would be a problem in the sales job for which he was interviewing.  This man had to defend why his family matters to him and could not understand why anyone would question him.  I think he might be making mistake if he takes that job, if he is offered the job.  It is amazing what you can learn by eavesdropping and it is interesting to find similarities amongst strangers, friends, co-workers, acquaintances.  Most have feedback as relates to company expectations, attitude of management, pay grades, product performance and quality of life.  I will say there are some outliers as I have heard great things about a well known technology company, for example; though I am beginning to believe “good places” to work are becoming the outlier.  How many people wake up excited to go to work versus full of dread and stress?

 When I talk to someone about their experience and feelings about how their job, it is interesting to hear what a person would rather be doing. I have a friend who would like to work at Walmart rather than in his sales job.  I have another friend who would rather make donuts all day than go to the office.  It seems the rusty, sinking cruise ship that is the majority of Corporate America is struggling to understand what keeps employees happy and what matters to employees.  The outliers have it right yet the rest of Corporate America seems to be unwilling to flex.

 So what to do?  Every since the whole “we are in a Recession” period, the idea of small business elevating the economy has resonated with me.  Personally, I enjoy helping someone brainstorm what else they can do to earn money independently versus working for a large corporation. I find it fascinating to hear one’s ideas and interesting to help formulate a plan towards making ideas a reality. I realize not everyone can start a business and some people are happy as nurses or teachers or butchers or lawyers.  However, I believe there are many people out there who have something to offer the world of small business and consumers and hold back for reasons related to fear of failure, finances, change, and experience.

In conversations with people, I often find myself saying “Wow you would be really successful doing this or that as your own business.”  I have a friend who has an amazing eye for interior design.  She is on the Corporate Fast Track in her global company and is finally getting burnt out.  For years, I have believed when she gets sick of being uber successful in Corporate America, she will start her own business and have fun building a successful venture.  My friend recently bought a house to flip for fun and I have asked her to start a blog so others can see how she works and what amazing taste she has in color, fabric, and design.  I really believe this could be the start of a brand new direction for her and really look forward to seeing where she is in 5 years.

 Perhaps it time for many of us to take step back and really evaluate what we are doing with our time.  Understandably paychecks help us put food on the table and a roof over our heads.  However, how many people out there do something in their free time that may be a lucrative business opportunity? Would you like to do something you enjoy, something you can do daily and not feel like it is a grind to get through the day?  I have been thinking about how to help people I meet turn something enjoyable into something profitable.  Start your own business and see the business differently.  Lay down the ground work, start with a few steps, take a leap of faith.  Perhaps the best way to improve Corporate America is to find a new direction entirely.

 

Filed Under: balancing act, blog, business, clarity, corporate america, direction, experience, help, Inspiration, lucrative business opportunity, motivation, outliers, passion, perspective, potential, Purpose, success, successful venture Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
July 9, 2013

That’s Kinky

In line with a previous post, I started this blog without worrying too much about the details.  Start writing and figure out it as I go was my process.  Throwing the spaghetti up on the wall – it works!   I guess now I can start working out the kinks!

There are readers (which is humbling) and some have shared feedback, which is greatly appreciated. One reader has asked me to set up the ability to have new posts sent to her email inbox.  I thought that made perfect sense – go to my reader instead of making the reader come to me!  I started to try to enable a widget to set up this functionality before I had my coffee on Sunday.  It was not my greatest success as I am hardly a tech whiz and before coffee, I tend to give up on that which might tax my brain!!  I tend to be less inclined to read directions and more inclined to just have at it and then contact my brother, the webmaster, when I have either really messed something up or am stymied.  Nevertheless, this blog can now send email updates.

I have to look at the good side or learning side of every situation so here are the lesson in it for me: always know when to ask for help and welcome help! Listen to the feedback of those whom you trust or believe in and decide what to do after processing the comments.  The people around you will help you learn.  I will also add, make it easy on your readers.  In my line of work, I always try to make things easy on my clients, if in my control; thus, hopefully email updates will be helpful to anyone who visits this blog.  Email addresses will not be used for any purpose other than an email notification to inform you of a new post.   Thank you for reading!

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