Do It Your Way On This Day

Remember what is important and remember how good you have it.  How many times do we all forget to relish the times of simplicity in our lives?

Today is a day that reminds me where I was and what I was doing and how I first found out a plane hit the World Trade Center.  I can remember how I reacted, my surroundings and all the things I did that day.  The media coverage was overwhelming at the time.  Since 2001, I have always avoided TV and any kind of news outlets when the calendar switches to the 11th of September.  Like a cattle brand, my memories are burned into my brain (like anyone else) and I need no further reminder. I can remember the phone call from Jersey City informing me of something I actually thought was a mistake at first.   I can envision what I saw from Newark airport a few days following.  I can envision all the missing persons flyers I saw in Penn Station and posted around the city for a time following that day.  I can remember the memorials at the local train stations for the people who never returned home.  People say never forget.  My response is I can never forgot, nor would I forget.  Some times I wonder if it is disrespectful to avoid media coverage of the memorial events each year.  However, I really feel the news media can give anyone information indigestion.  I feel each person should observe this day however they wish, in whatever way is most comfortable. Though I am hardly religious, I woke up this morning and prayed for peace and protection for all the people who lost someone or more, all the people who were lost, all the people who are saddened or sick as a result of events on that day.   “Anyone who needs it on this day, please bring peace and protect the people who have passed and the people who survived or were left behind and every person touched by the events 12 years ago.”  Then I started my day.  I decided to respect those impacted by remembering I am fortunate to drive to work and sit at my desk.  With my usual grace, I spilled coffee on my dress and was grateful that was the worst thing I had to deal with today. I was reminded my “issues” are trivial and for those of us not living through something, whatever that something may be, the rest of us can extend empathy, compassion, kindness and support to those who need it. I found this quote last night and it is a good reminder:  Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  Be kind.  Always.

Appreciate when you have periods of time in life when things are uncomplicated.  Appreciate when you are the observer instead of one of the affected and help when you can.  Do small things to show kindness because even the little things go a long way.  What goes around comes around. When you need kindness, it will come back to you in ways that likely would surprise you.

I do appreciate the light installation in lower Manhattan.  I saw many pictures on Instagram tonight.  It is quite peaceful and serene.

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Sparking Inspiration

Inspiration is a funny thing.  It comes in different ways, at different times.  Understanding what inspires a person can be very informative and very telling when talking about business, ideas or plans. I often find myself asking, ‘What is your motivation behind (fill in the blank)” and perhaps a better question would be, “What inspires you to (fill in the blank).”  The response usually leads to an interesting conversation or more questions whether I am talking to a stranger, a friend or my dog’s veterinarian.

My inspiration to write usually ramps up when I feel unsettled. This is the norm when I end up posting something on this blog.  I get this jittery feeling as if I had too much coffee and when that sets in, my brains starts working and I open a blank page and start typing.  A jittery feeling is my motivation to write in some cases – sounds odd.  It is a word or an experience that takes me down a path of different thoughts and ideas to inspire me.  It is some sort of cause and effect that I will have to ponder at another time.  I suppose inspiration can be multifaceted and when it strikes you, you can either go with it or ignore it.  I find when I ignore things they eventually surface again and demand attention. When inspiration strikes and timing is conducive, sometimes it is better focus and go with the flow.  Last year, I was inspired to start painting again to open my creative side.  I ended up painting birthday cards and learned to work with paints again.

Inspiration also makes me think of time.  When struck by inspiration, the final outcome or the end result may take a few minutes, days or months.  There are times of inspiration with a speedy outcome such as finding a job posting online and submitting your resume.  When inspired to change direction in your career it may be a process or you may need to employ patience to get to the starting point you desire.  I call out a starting point because some inspiration spurns change requiring a foundation to get to arrive at your beginning.  A doctor needs to complete the educational requirements to start a career healing others. I needed paints and a tablet of paper for my creative inspiration.  What foundation do you need in place act on your inspiration? A foundation may be knowledge, training, experience, collateral, funding or self confidence to get started.  

How does one find inspiration?  Hard to say what works for any one person, though sometimes it is by pure chance.  It may come upon you while you are doing something you enjoy.  It may strike when you are watching TV or reading or eating a slice of pizza.  I tend to think inspiration comes when one is open to receive or willing to listen to a gut or intuitive feeling.  Inspiration may also come if you go looking for it.  What if you have trouble finding a source of inspiration?  I generally find talking others can help, like asking for directions; though the best sources are often the people with the best intuition in my experience (see my post about choosing your team here).  In fact, in situations when friends consult me, I just follow my intuition to help or assist in whatever way I can.  It tends to end up in an interesting conversation to spark at least a moment of inspiration to get things moving.  Today I sent an email to a friend with my point of view on an aspect of the launch of her new business and it somehow lead me to this post.  Perhaps I found my inspiration in that email and she just got spammed by me.

 

 

 

Find The Common Thread

What do you have in common with the person sitting next to you?  I had an interesting conversation with two friends last night.  One was describing a situation she is dealing with at this time and my other friend and I were totally empathetic as we know exactly what she is going through.  We probably could have told her how her situation would play out before she shared most of the details.  The story will continue to play out and I came up with three possible endings, like a Choose Your Own Adventure story.  I would bet money on one of three possible scenarios as the final result, whenever it unfolds.

It struck me ironic that I was sitting at a table with two of my friends and ultimately we have or will have the same life experiences.  Now not all of our experiences are the same though we have known each other many years and have many things in common.  The specific topic of conversation prompted me to start thinking and writing.  It is amazing how different your life can be from someone else yet one single event involving sharing of stories can reveal commonalities, connections, and empathy.  It struck me funny that life can play out in similar ways regardless of who you are or where you are from.  It showed me how the microcosm in the restaurant last night is likely reflective of a much bigger picture related to human connection.  I suppose this revelation is hardly news to some; however, it really made me pause to think about empathy.  Empathy is necessary and vital to human connection and the evolution of human relationships.  To be able to relate to one another regardless of background, financial status, or location is extremely important.  If you can relate to someone, it means you know what it is like to walk in their shoes in your own pair of shoes.  If you are unable to relate based on specific experience, you are likely able to draw a parallel to some other experience in your life to feel empathy and compassion.  Granted there are times when it is really hard to relate to people.  If you meet someone with a sense of entitlement, it can be difficult to have empathy or compassion.  I deserve, I should have, I am in the center of the universe, how much can I get, etc types make it tough. However, in general, amongst the people around you, when you find a common thread that ties two or three or many people together, it is a revealing experience.  To be able to say, my experience was similar to yours, you are in good company and how can I help, is a really big thing.  It can lead to friendships, new perspective, new ideas or just the relief of knowing someone understands and can listen and be supportive.  I am sure we have all had an experience in life when we feel as if we are living in another dimension.  Talking to someone brings it all back around to normal and into perspective.

There are so many other things I can write about on this topic though it would lead me down too many different paths.  I will end this by saying, be aware of yourself and those around you.  Practice empathy and if you need guidance, start by typing “define empathy” in a Google search box.   It is a very important tool for all of us to use  and a skill can always be developed wherever life takes us.

Time and Time Again

cTime goes by and things may stay the same or things may change.  Time does many things whether we are consciously aware of it or not.  I started to think about this after a short visit by friends whom I have not seen in about 5 years. They live out of state and decided to pop in on me this morning and though brief it was so nice to see them again.  Time goes by yet preserves the bonds and connections we create with people we meet. I say this as I feel it is a common human experience to reconnect with someone and think or say, “Though so much time has passed, it feels like I saw you yesterday!”  Time puts human connection on hold and lets us pick up where we left off, if we so choose.

Throughout life we encounter painful experiences that can be difficult to understand or comprehend.  Life is full of good things which can be easy to embrace and unpleasantness that can be painful or unsettling.  Sometimes I can only think of one thing to say when someone is struggling, “time is a great healer”. It carries much truth in my opinion.  Though I take no credit for this idiom, I know there have been situations for which time has been the healing factor to help me.  It is with time that we begin to settle in and understand the things that might be hard to process in a specific moment or given period of time.  I know I have heard, “give it a little time, you will begin to feel better.”  Time has some sort of medicinal quality whatever the hurt, upset, pain or maladie, whether physically and emotionally.  There are times when some things seem irreparable, however, given time, a person can learn to heal or forgive and move on from something that may have been quite powerful in a specific moment.  I do realize in some cases healing and forgiveness are easier than in others so I appreciate every situation is unique.  

Time is also a bit of a magician by way of  providing clarity, insight and perhaps perspective as the hours and days carry us away from a situation. I  have a friend who always says. “In time, the answers will eventually surface” or something along those lines.  I do believe this is true.  Have you ever been in a situation and the information at hand seems disjointed or unclear?   Yet whether it is days, weeks, months later, you receive the clarity or answers you wanted at an earlier time? If you let it do its thing, time will help reveal or unravel or shake out the information and results that may have been previously elusive  or hazy.   When the time is right, what we need to move forward, gain insight, start again or find closure will surface.  All in a matter of time.

A Little Serving of Perspective

What I find most interesting about connecting with someone new, is what they bring to the table.  I believe people come into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes they stay, sometimes they go. As I reflect on different experiences, I can identify people who have had the most impact on me, good or bad.  I tend to observe and listen because it is easy to understand a person’s strengths, fears, weaknesses, interests, values in just a brief conversation.  The words a person speaks and the energy they give off can be very telling and informative.  I also find one’s eyes speak volumes – look into someone’s eyes when speaking and you will be surprised what you learn.  It can help you get to know someone even if it means run for the hills!  I actually find it interesting when someone says, “How did you know that about me?”

The thing driving my thoughts are the words shared with me last night (and I paraphrase), “Impulsive is a good thing.  Life is too short.”  The person who said this to me has a fascinating joie de vivre and approach to life that shows experience, charisma and knowledge. I have been observing and learning. I find myself quite curious given people around you are supposed to be your mirrors.  I am interested to see what else I will learn and what new things I will see in myself and those around me.

I have had “life is too short” on my mind all day today. It was bubbling on the back burner of my brain along the lines of, “If I got hit by a bus today, the best thing that happened was the lunch I made.”  Ok, that is an extreme exaggeration but I had a serving of perspective today.  Life is too short makes me think of something I wrote previously about taking a leap of faith. It is more likely to go well than not. (The person who said life is too short gives very little thought to a leap of faith, it is just second nature…because life is too short).  This also makes me think of people with whom I no longer have contact.  When someone in your life makes you feel like you are constantly pushing a ton of bricks uphill in a wheelbarrow, it is refreshing to leave the person and the wheelbarrow at the bottom of the hill.  What is the point of doing something that is too much effort and involves minimal reward, happiness, fun? How is that a good use of time or energy?  I try to show my appreciation for others and enjoy myself wherever I am or whatever I am doing..within reason!  Sometimes I have to check myself and shift my thoughts.

I feel like I am bouncing around and am unsure how to wrap us this post.  I will just do it abruptly.  Think about what you are doing today.  Is there something you would look back on (if you were hypothetically hit by a bus), and say, “Life was short, why did I do it that way or why did I say that way or why did I do or say nothing at all?”  A simple mindset change can set a new course or open up new opportunity.  

 

I Am Like Everyone Else

How can senseless acts happen?  It is a rhetorical question really and there are many answers.  I was in a meeting and received a text message from a friend who escaped 7 World Trade on September 11th.  She wrote, “Boston reminds me of 9/11.”  I had no idea what she was talking about and was totally confused.  I logged onto my laptop and contacted my brother who lives in the Boston area.  I asked if something happened in Boston.  He replied with, “Bombs on the finish line of the marathon.”   I really needed nothing further as I knew what it all meant.  My brother proceeded to tell me it was bad, described the scene as heartbreaking, and recommended I avoid the photos online.   I was at a loss for words as usual in illogical situations.  I never fall apart or lose my cool.  During any crisis or traumatic event, my brain begins to work, my emotions get shoved aside and I try to understand.  I often ask myself, “What can I do about this?”  When it comes to these random acts of violence, after a few moments, my brain just stops on me and emotion usually ramps up.

There are some things for which logic and rational thinking are inapplicable and today was another example.  Empathy and compassion are what come forward for me.  How must those people feel?  How will their lives change and how will they deal with sudden, tragic death of a loved one?  A sudden traumatic injury?  How will they cope with the pain?  It will be much for those impacted to process.  I even felt empathy for those who never had an opportunity to finish a race for which they worked so hard to train.  I felt a heavy weight on my chest imagining what all of these runners, fans, families, friends, bystanders, first responders must be feeling in the continuum of pain and loss.

Truthfully, I was never one to pray and more often, I find myself saying a little prayer as I believe words and thoughts are energy.  Today I prayed to the Archangel Michael to protect the city of Boston and all of the people impacted from further pain and suffering.  It was all I could come up with to help from where I was sitting.  Angels are messengers of God from what I have read; however, they have specific jobs; and thus I called upon the heavy hitter because that is was I felt Boston needed.  Bring protection as that is a good thing.

I try to think of something positive in spite of any tragedy.  It is way to find solace and to lift the cloud of darkness, in my opinion.  It took me several hours to find the light in the darkness as my empathic state carried on.  For all those people who suffered injuries, they are in one of the best cities in the country for medical treatment.  The teaching and medical institutions. the facilities, the brilliant practitioners, truly a blessing in light of an unheralded tragedy.  I trust the medical practitioners in Boston will serve every person hospitalized with the best treatment one can hope for in a trauma situation.  This is a blessing under the dust, pain and smoke created today.

Although it is a bittersweet positive note, it is something I think is important for anyone to understand.  We are never alone.  This world is changing rapidly and while we hope for peace, tragic events do surface.  As I sat in my desk chair, reading the news about the Boston marathon, my empathy swirled and my mind went to, ‘These people are not alone.’  I learned as a result of the death of a dear college friend and through the impact of September 11th on my community and my friends, you are never alone.  This is a blessing.  Through connection and kindness, regardless of geography, other people, groups, communities can empathize and can understand the shock and the pain of waiting and loss.   It is a comforting thing and it can be an amazing thing to see or experience.  To feel the compassion and empathy of others who take the time reach out to say, “We know how you feel and we support you and let us help” is a gift in of itself.   It is through acts of kindness, human connection and gratitude that we, as humans, find our way out of these events to establish a new sense of belonging or a new normal.  In my experience, any tragedy will change you and these connections help you see the path forward.