Do It Your Way On This Day

Remember what is important and remember how good you have it.  How many times do we all forget to relish the times of simplicity in our lives?

Today is a day that reminds me where I was and what I was doing and how I first found out a plane hit the World Trade Center.  I can remember how I reacted, my surroundings and all the things I did that day.  The media coverage was overwhelming at the time.  Since 2001, I have always avoided TV and any kind of news outlets when the calendar switches to the 11th of September.  Like a cattle brand, my memories are burned into my brain (like anyone else) and I need no further reminder. I can remember the phone call from Jersey City informing me of something I actually thought was a mistake at first.   I can envision what I saw from Newark airport a few days following.  I can envision all the missing persons flyers I saw in Penn Station and posted around the city for a time following that day.  I can remember the memorials at the local train stations for the people who never returned home.  People say never forget.  My response is I can never forgot, nor would I forget.  Some times I wonder if it is disrespectful to avoid media coverage of the memorial events each year.  However, I really feel the news media can give anyone information indigestion.  I feel each person should observe this day however they wish, in whatever way is most comfortable. Though I am hardly religious, I woke up this morning and prayed for peace and protection for all the people who lost someone or more, all the people who were lost, all the people who are saddened or sick as a result of events on that day.   “Anyone who needs it on this day, please bring peace and protect the people who have passed and the people who survived or were left behind and every person touched by the events 12 years ago.”  Then I started my day.  I decided to respect those impacted by remembering I am fortunate to drive to work and sit at my desk.  With my usual grace, I spilled coffee on my dress and was grateful that was the worst thing I had to deal with today. I was reminded my “issues” are trivial and for those of us not living through something, whatever that something may be, the rest of us can extend empathy, compassion, kindness and support to those who need it. I found this quote last night and it is a good reminder:  Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  Be kind.  Always.

Appreciate when you have periods of time in life when things are uncomplicated.  Appreciate when you are the observer instead of one of the affected and help when you can.  Do small things to show kindness because even the little things go a long way.  What goes around comes around. When you need kindness, it will come back to you in ways that likely would surprise you.

I do appreciate the light installation in lower Manhattan.  I saw many pictures on Instagram tonight.  It is quite peaceful and serene.

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Thank You. Merci. Gracias. You Get It.

Just say thank you. Two words when used together are often very powerful.  These are the only two words you need to use sometimes. When someone does something nice for you say thank you, rather than objecting.  I was with two friends this weekend and one is in a financial situation that makes me appreciate my steady job and uncomplicated life.  Right or wrong, because I have an income and she is unemployed and supporting her family as best she can, I refuse any gestures involving money out of her pocket. It bothers her that I do this and she snuck in and paid for my smoothie at a take out place on Saturday afternoon.  I thanked her for her kindness and generosity; however, in my mind I wished she had saved the $5 to do something for herself.

I have rules with my friends. In spite of good intention, I try to avoid allowing my friends with financial constraints from spending money on me, even a cup of coffee.  I have the flexibility of spending money in my day to day life and always prefer a person save their dollars until easier days come around or apply elsewhere i.e. groceries or other needs.  Another friend of mine was unemployed a few years ago and working hard to find a new job.  During this time, she was dining home and was feeling bummed out because she needed to restrict her spending.  I insisted on buying her sushi one night to get her out of the house; plus I wanted company for dinner as sushi is always better at the restaurant! She was uncomfortable with this because she is an independent woman and likes to pay her own way; however, she relented because I negotiated with her.  I made a deal.  I offered to let her pay for dinner once she had income feeding her bank account if she would let me make dinner my treat.  I held up my end of the bargain, about a year later, when she was finally employed again.  We met for dinner and she reminded me of the deal we made when the check came.  It made her happy to treat me to dinner after all that time and I thanked her.

I often think about acts of kindness and what we can do for other people.  Sometimes acts of kindness are well served when they help strangers.  Sometimes acts of kindness are well served when friends are in need.  When an opportunity to help someone presents itself, it is hard for me to say no.  To clarify, I am hardly a bleeding heart and truthfully am not the person who gives money to homeless people sitting on the street.  I will, however, donate food to a food pantry or clothes to charity, for example, to ensure my contribution is put to good use.  When I have an opportunity to help, it tugs on me unless I take action.  It may be odd but true.  It takes so little effort to do something for someone else and if the response is ‘oh that is too much’ or something along those lines, I usually say, “just say thank you and do something for someone else when you can.”   Acts of kindness can be money free as well.  A neighbor was recently talking about a business idea he has been considering.  I told him I had been reading on the very topic he was interested in and shared blogs and articles I  had read to provide him with additional resources and possible leads.   Little or big, time consuming or easy to do, identifying an opportunity to help is rewarding and an opportunity to help can inspire the recipient or another person to pay it forward.   It goes along with the what goes around, comes around idea as well. Give kindness and you will probably see welcome and/or unexpected kindness in return. Help and when you need help, it will be returned.  Obvious statements I suppose yet on my mind for the last few days.  Thank you for reading this blog.