July 26, 2014

Should Have….Yoga?

Should: used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.  I have been thinking about the obligation we place upon ourselves when we say things like “I should” versus “I want”.  I often use I should when I am resisting or avoiding something.  I should turns into I had to.  I want turns into I wanted to.  The latter sounds so much better.  Until should turns into “I want to”, it is hard to move forward willingly.

For years I have said I should start going to yoga classes.  I was reluctant to make the effort even though I knew there would be benefit.  I had a lot of excuses as to why I kept putting off the inevitable.  There have been many days following a tough workout at the gym when I have thought, “Boy I bet this would be a good day for yoga.”  When I finally got tired of persistent back problems and muscle aches and the fear of falling on my face, I took the advice of friends and my orthopedist and took the plunge. I signed up for some private yoga sessions to start off on the right foot.  The instructor I am working with owns her own studio and is incredibly knowledgeable.  She was a nurse and a gym rat and took a yoga class one day years ago.  She told me she “totally sucked at it” – and kept with it. Even the most graceful can have a rough beginning which is reassuring to know.  Yoga is a learning process.  Learning is what inspires me and changes my ‘should’ to ‘want to.’  I find working with someone who has a great knowledge of the history, the practice, and the muscle groups associated with poses means there is much to be gained from every class. Self awareness, mindfulness, strength, knowledge, courage, grace are just a handful of things.

After a recent session, I went to Starbucks and one of the Baristas asked where I had been before my latte stop.  When I shared I had come from yoga, she said, “I should do that.  I should go to yoga.”  I explained I took up classes because of annoying back problems.  She said, “That is what I need! I should really get into yoga.”  When a friend of mine recently asked, “What’s new?” I replied, “Yoga is new for me.”  He said, “I should try yoga. My Dad has been telling me I should try it for years.” It makes me wonder how many people want to try yoga and have yet to do so for no good reason?  My friends who have been too busy for yoga tell me how much they miss it.  It seems to me most people may benefit from a little yoga.  Chances are quite a few people have thought about it yet resist, do not want to or maybe feel uncomfortable or embarrassed?  I think learning to enjoy embarrassment is part of yoga. Wobbling, shaking, losing balance, sweating your brains out are all just part of the practice. I am discovering it is a learning experience each time I roll out my mat.

The interesting thing about yoga that had never really clicked for me is: you can practice anywhere, anytime! I never realized how easy it is or why it is often called a ‘personal practice’.  The mat, the studio and the instructor are nice to haves. If you are without those things – have yoga, will travel. I now add a little yoga to the end of my gym workout every time I go.  Today at the gym, I was unable to find a space for a little yoga so I left before I finished my workout. I came home and threw down on my porch.  Why not?

I tend to promote things I really enjoy or really believe in or from which I see benefit.  I am still a newbie yet have already given thought to people I know who would benefit from yoga.  There is so much to learn whether physically, mentally or spiritually.  Yoga has something for everyone regardless of age.  It can be as challenging or as relaxing as you wish.  If you want to get started, talk to someone you know who practices yoga. I feel it is worth investing in a lesson or two with a good instructor to learn technique but a class is a good start too.  There are many ways to investigate yoga including instructional videos on Youtube to see how it works.  It is worth trying without a doubt – only if you want to though!

Thank you for reading this blog!

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November 15, 2013

The Skeletons Can Be Helpful

Have faith in what will happen. It just popped into my head  and I started thinking about various events in my life.  When I reflect back on where I have been and where I am now, there are so many things I never expected or never anticipated. Writing that sounds ridiculous to me on some level. There are so many unexpected things that happen in life.  It is necessary trust in the idea that there is a reason behind everything that happens and the timing of things will be what it needs to be. Maybe some people ponder this often but I tend to reflect when something reminds me to do so.  How did you get here?  What decisions did I make or did I not make?  How have I changed? What has changed me or what has been the impetus to change? Here is what was happening 1 year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago.  The things in the present that were never on my radar in prior years are most interesting to me. 10 years ago I never would have imagined I would be working where I am today.5 years ago I would not have believed I would still be working where I am. It is interesting to reflect on the people who were in my life and those who have drifted in a different direction and the new people I have met along the way.

There is a saying I have read that I will misquote and it goes something like,  “Do not think about the past because you do not live there.”  I tend to look at the past as the way to learn how to avoid repeating those things you prefer to never again repeat.  You can say you will never do something again but I believe until you determine why you did something or examine what was happening in your life at a specific time, you may repeat things.  You have to look at the matter, understand why it happened, what role you played and what you can do differently next time.  I have a friend who says he nevers likes to think about the past.  He does not like to think about mistakes he has made or “stupid” things he has done.  Avoidance only leads to more of the same.   Facing yourself and taking accountability for things that have happened can be difficult and uncomfortable.  I tend to think once you take a hard look at something and you learn something valuable.   I think avoiding the past is like being chased. I think of a cartoon character running with zombie skeletons in fast pursuit.  Once you stop and turn around and address each skeleton by name and find out why you are being chased, the skeletons vanish.  We learn lessons from past actions by virtue of  facing things and setting them free.  If we choose to face a lesson or take a lesson to heart, it can only be a helpful lead-in to change. The past does not define us.  It can help us figure out who we want to be moving forward. We make mistakes, we make less than ideal decisions, we do weird things, hang out with various people and it all happens for a reason. I guess sometimes you have to visit the past and then move on versus living in the past and dwelling or letting the past continuously tap you on the shoulder.  It is like going on a weekend trip.  You visit, you look around, you experience things and then you go back to your reality.

Learning is an ongoing experience, we never stop learning whether we like or not regardless of age.  Well, perhaps on some level learning is choice or admitting there is something to learn is a process.  I was talking to a friend recently about a specific situation and I said I had nothing to learn from it.  The next day I was driving to work and realized there was something big I had been ignoring – kind of like an elephant in the room.  When you least expect it things can reveal themselves and teach you something new.  I would guess in a year or 5 years I will look back again and be amazed about what has changed in my life.  I tend to think things change in our life if we pay attention to signs and messages that lead to the lessons.  Some lessons are harder than others and some result in really positive things.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

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September 16, 2013

Self-Doubt Chirping

Working past self doubt is a challenge.  I have this plan for a new blog.  I will be running two, actually.  You are reading my skirt and high heels blog (in need of a make over).  My new blog will be my running shoes and kick up my feet blog.  I am working on a plan to invest money into the appearance and the design of both of my creations versus my usual method of throw the spaghetti up on the wall.  I guess it could be called an investment in my future in spite of the little voice in my head saying, “the future of what?”  Thank you Self-Doubt for chiming in and trying to squish my idea, is all I have to say about that.  This is one of those things that came to me and I felt like running with it; yet Self-Doubt chirps away.

Someone recently observed I fear things and I probably have no idea what it is I am afraid of.  I found that to be a fair assessment as the unknown is a source of fear for me and something about the unknown rattles my confidence.  I have no idea what the unknown holds and that is my own obstacle.  Who cares what the unknown holds?  I am reminding myself to shape the unknown as I want it to be and to allow changes and shifts as things reveal themselves.  I have to remind myself to just take a little leap of faith every now and then, as there is really nothing to lose in pursuing an idea.   I need to focus on what I want to do now and how I want the “now” to unfold.  Self-Doubt needs a mute button.

Taking an idea and allowing it to come to fruition can be a revealing way to let others see your point of view or perspective and to hear your voice (literally or figuratively).  You may learn something new about yourself and others may learn something new about you.  In my case, Self-Doubt can be an annoyance and an idea stopper.   Self-Doubt feeds fear…or does fear feed Self-Doubt?  Chicken or the egg?  Needless to say, the combination can be the source of self imposed obstacles that can stop creativity or progress in its tracks, if allowed.  I suppose it is  natural to hear the chirping of Self-Doubt in any venture or process and it is a lesson in will, I think.  Mute Self-Doubt and carry on.

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August 24, 2013

Turn Your Habits Around

While trying unsuccessfully to use my brain while on vacation, I did find myself thinking about habits.  What habits do you have that really fail to serve a beneficial purpose?  At that moment, I actually had a block as relates to my bad habits and put the idea on a mental shelf.  Sometimes things fall off the mental shelf while I am commuting and that was the case while I was sitting in traffic this week.

One of my worst habits is worrying.  I worry about work matters that are outside my control and how to manage client perception. Worry really is an exercise in futility as there are just some things I can do little about except take it all in stride.  Such is life in Corporate America!  Why keep myself up at night or create unnecessary stress if situations and environmental circumstances are caused by someone or something else?  I am finding it is better to empathize with my clients or be honest with my clients when they discuss pain points.  I try to always tell the truth when something goes awry in a professional, palatable manner. Rather than subjecting myself to worry and stress, I find it easier to take off the business mask and just have a human conversation.  Mistakes happen, nothing is perfect and we do the best we can.  I have been working to shift my thoughts anytime the little worry voice in my head pops up.  Once I realize I am starting down the worry path, I do my best to stop myself and focus on something totally different and positive.  The mind is a really funny thing.

Another thing that came to mind: eating and sleeping habits.  Generally I lean towards healthy foods and I exercise regularly.  There are times when it is just easier to eat chips for dinner or a few cookies for breakfast and slack off at the gym because I am too tired to do anything.  ( I support eating dessert for breakfast because why must it only be served after dinner?)  However, I realized over the course of several months, my work related stress levels have been increasing, my sleeping patterns were inconsistent – staying up too late, getting up really early or sleeping really late. Exhaustion and stress were driving me to want more sweets while also taking energy away from my workouts.  After vacation I decided to give myself a break.  I realized I need to take a step back and be more regimented about how I eat and how I sleep as I had fallen off course sometime in the Spring.  Bed by 10:30pm is my goal so waking up is easier in the morning.  I follow a number of nutrition/healthy lifestyle blogs and found some new food and recipe ideas and noted a few key things:

  • Eat for nutrition, not for fun.  Cookies or breakfast are tasty! I feel much more energetic after a plate of protein pancakes or a bowl of oatmeal or Greek yogurt with fruit and granola.  I knew this and had forgotten somehow?

  • Drink more water.  It is my go to beverage but I have been so busy and preoccupied I really had only been drinking water at the gym. Dehydration = tired.  And hardly economical admittedly – I have been buying 50 oz bottles of water to drink over the course of a day.  I will buy a water bottle to take with me, bottled water has been a stop gap.

  • Figure out what works for you with different resources.  When I cook something, I read many recipes to find the combination of ingredients I want to use to create my own recipe.  I did the same this week.  I read different blogs and found the things that work for me to get back on track.  I was reminded of some things, learned new things about different and new foods  and learned new things about nutrition.   I always find new and different perspective when I read what regular people are doing.  Some of the blogs I read and follow on Twitter/Instagram are:

There are other habits I gave thought to, however, I decided to address those that impact my quality of life first.  I did have a big fat pork chop for dinner last night and shared strawberry shortcake for dessert, so by no means have I given up eating for enjoyment!  However, I went to bed at a reasonable time, woke up at 7:30am and ate a healthy breakfast (plain Chobani with nectarines, strawberries and granola), hit the gym for over an hour, and made a healthy lunch.   Moderation as they always say and avoid deprivation!

I suppose habits that lack benefit to life style, quality of life, health, etc only steer us away from what serves us well.   It happens and when you realize it, it takes little effort to shift things around and get back on the better path.

 

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August 5, 2013

Enjoying the Uncomfortable Zone

Overcoming fear is an option at every stage of life.  We are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  Though I lack any scientific or medical training, I would guess people develop fears based on experiences, self talk and perhaps outside influences over the course of a lifetime.  There may be times when fear seems irrational or illogical and times when it makes perfect sense.  There is always a choice to recognize a fear, understand it and work to overcome it; or let it follow you around in life.  I must say there are some fears that come out of the blue and sometimes they are hard to understand.

What started me thinking of fear was a TED Talk I listened to on NPR TED Radio Hour recently.  Roz Savage was the featured speaker, a management consultant turned ocean rower.  As the story was introduced by the announcer, I was compelled to listen because I could relate to the introduction and kept saying, “Whoa how did she do that?”  Of course, as I asked myself that question, the answers were revealed as the talk unfolded.  

As I listened, I wondered how many people can relate to how Roz Savage ended up as an ocean rower; how she ended up doing something outside the original “plan”.  How many of us follow a path because we feel we should or it is what we are supposed to do.  Rules created based on a story we make up about ourselves.  Ms. Savage took a management consulting career path because that was the thing to do.  It made her question what she was doing with her life and her purpose in life.  She wanted adventure and questioned whether she fit the “mold” of an adventurer.  She sat down and wrote two versions of her own obituary – the now and the what if versions – and realized the life she was heading for was not what she wanted.  She wanted a life she could be proud of and knew she needed to change her course.  She realized she needed to create her happiness rather than wait for it to come to her.  Ms. Savage ultimately broke out of her comfort zone and took a massive leap of faith and started rowing.  Her story about how to overcome fear is fascinating to me.  What DO you do when you are alone, in a boat, in the middle of the ocean?  You figure it out with what you have at hand.

We all end up standing in the middle of the proverbial ocean at some point in our lives and we have choices to overcome fear or to let it take over.  When you are questioning things, when do you take a leap of faith outside your comfort zone?  Taking a leap of faith can be intimidating so how do you work through your fear or discomfort to get what you want?  What tools do you use to move forward? Who do you reach out to if you need help?  Roz Savage was primarily alone, however, when her water purifier broke during a trip on the Pacific, she was able to “phone a friend” using her satellite phone.  She found fellow ocean travelers to meet up with to trade fresh water for food.  I suppose taking a leap of faith means we have to believe we have what we need and if we need something else, we will find it or it will be brought to us.  I suppose once you take the initial leap of faith, you learn how to solve problems in new ways rather than letting fear hold you back.  A leap of faith becomes a walk in the park with obstacles and challenges along the way.

What are you questioning today?  Are you wondering about your purpose?  Are you standing in the middle of the ocean?  Roz Savage was in a position like mine at some point and her story reminded me I can do something different and as can most of us.   I know I am trying to approach things differently. When I think I have done the right things, I can always reflect on things I can do better next time. I would say leaving your comfort zone is extremely uncomfortable; but once you have left it, you realize you had nothing to fear.

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July 31, 2013

It’s Poetic

Sometimes when I think about something, I notice things around me that relate to my thoughts.   I suppose it is as if when something is on my mind, the answers present themselves in unusual ways.  Tonight I was pondering what to do with my life as I often do and was thinking about the obstacles we all create for ourselves in one way or another.  I had a college professor who advised me to declare the major of interest to me when we were discussing my course of study.  I conveyed my fear of two classes others told me were impossible to pass.  My professor suggested if my fear of two classes were to stop me from declaring my major, then I would likely have regrets later on in life.  I passed the two classes with A’s and can say, even after all these years, I am happy I removed the obstacles I had created for myself in that situation.

One of my biggest learnings from that professor is my understanding of fear.  I have always felt fear stops us and is what makes us create obstacles for ourselves.  It can be paralyzing, distracting, confusing, and misleading.  While I was pondering this evening, I came across a TED Talk about overcoming fears (among other things) which I will write about later and a quote from E.E. Cummings (his full name Edward Estlin Cummings, I never knew). “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” E.E. Cummings.  For some reason this quote just bounced all around my brain like in a pinball machine (bing).  It made me think of people I know and myself and what it takes to change or why a person would find it difficult to change and why (bing).   I thought it can be pretty scary to leave things behind (bing), change things about yourself (bing), or do something unfamiliar (bing).  Leaving your comfort zone takes courage because it can be uncomfortable (bing bing bing).   It also reminded me of this post I recently wrote and as change occurs, it is good to have the right people around you.  It also reminded me of the blue dragon fly I saw today.  It landed near my foot while I was outside an office building talking to a colleague.  I found it to be an unusual location for a dragon fly and actually researched the symbolism of a dragon fly because it seemed odd to see such a critter where I did.  Dragon flies represent the symbolic meaning of transformation, change, and adaptability.  Things happen for a reason, you meet people for a reason, sometimes you read things for a reason….you catch my drift.

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June 14, 2013

Batteries Not Included

Since the middle of March I have been tearing around like the Tasmanian Devil trying to keep up with everything I need to do in my personal life and in my day job. I do have the aptitude to take on ridiculous amounts of work and stress which is to my benefit and my detriment. I am finding I am starting to fall behind on some things and generally feel I have run an ultra-marathon by the end of the week.  I feel like one of those plate spinners – spinning many plates on sticks trying to prevent any from falling to the ground. (Just go to Google Images and type in plate spinners and you will see what I mean).  A cloning machine would be quite useful as two more of me is exactly what I need at this juncture.  The perfectionist side of me used to try to stay on top of everything and now I am letting things slide. I usually test my limits to see how far I can push myself and am now learning I have to respect my limits.

I suppose I have been learning about my limits quite a bit over the last year or so.  Realizing how much I can tolerate and often find myself asking, “Why do I put up with this?”  This has been happening across the board in my personal life, with my interpersonal relationship and with my job.   There have been times when I have been forced to face that fact that I am taking on too much – as demonstrated recently when I fell asleep behind the wheel of my car driving home from work.  I woke up after having rear ended a tractor trailer.  The truck was fine, my car not so much.  An alarm clock may have been better been a better wake up call.  My Mother told me I am not getting any younger and keeping up my pace and not taking care of myself is my issue.  One of my clients accused me of being overworked (ok maybe it is true) and ordered me to keep lollipops and chewing gum in the car if case I feel drowsy. She also advised me to stop working during my personal time and to start traveling on company time.  My brother mandated I go back to drinking coffee.  My Dad told me only old people fall asleep behind wheel and numerous other people have said I may want to take better care of myself.  

It takes much effort to do the things I enjoy when I feel like I am running ragged.  Need to go to this meeting, have to catch a flight, need to catch up on 8 hours of email in 2 hours. I find myself figuring out my day based on the number of hours I have available. How much can I cram in?  Over the weekend, I decided to skip running errands because it was just too much time driving given I spend so much time in the car during the week.  I also skipped a party because the thought of mingling required too much energy.  I used to think if I did things to boost my energy, I would be able to keep up my Tasmanian Devil pace.  I work out, I try to sleep more when I can, I eat healthy. I even tried yoga (which I enjoy).  An attempt to drink one of those green energy juice drinks (made with kale, celery, apples, lemon, and I forget what else) was a major fail because liquid green grass flavored drinks are hardly appetizing.  I am likely doing myself a disservice trying to boost my energy when I feel my internal battery is already on low.  Either I need new batteries or I will have to shift things around and change my ways or some dynamic in my life.  Less pressure, less travel time and more peace and quiet are probably good places to start.

 

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May 8, 2013

A Little Serving of Perspective

What I find most interesting about connecting with someone new, is what they bring to the table.  I believe people come into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes they stay, sometimes they go. As I reflect on different experiences, I can identify people who have had the most impact on me, good or bad.  I tend to observe and listen because it is easy to understand a person’s strengths, fears, weaknesses, interests, values in just a brief conversation.  The words a person speaks and the energy they give off can be very telling and informative.  I also find one’s eyes speak volumes – look into someone’s eyes when speaking and you will be surprised what you learn.  It can help you get to know someone even if it means run for the hills!  I actually find it interesting when someone says, “How did you know that about me?”

The thing driving my thoughts are the words shared with me last night (and I paraphrase), “Impulsive is a good thing.  Life is too short.”  The person who said this to me has a fascinating joie de vivre and approach to life that shows experience, charisma and knowledge. I have been observing and learning. I find myself quite curious given people around you are supposed to be your mirrors.  I am interested to see what else I will learn and what new things I will see in myself and those around me.

I have had “life is too short” on my mind all day today. It was bubbling on the back burner of my brain along the lines of, “If I got hit by a bus today, the best thing that happened was the lunch I made.”  Ok, that is an extreme exaggeration but I had a serving of perspective today.  Life is too short makes me think of something I wrote previously about taking a leap of faith. It is more likely to go well than not. (The person who said life is too short gives very little thought to a leap of faith, it is just second nature…because life is too short).  This also makes me think of people with whom I no longer have contact.  When someone in your life makes you feel like you are constantly pushing a ton of bricks uphill in a wheelbarrow, it is refreshing to leave the person and the wheelbarrow at the bottom of the hill.  What is the point of doing something that is too much effort and involves minimal reward, happiness, fun? How is that a good use of time or energy?  I try to show my appreciation for others and enjoy myself wherever I am or whatever I am doing..within reason!  Sometimes I have to check myself and shift my thoughts.

I feel like I am bouncing around and am unsure how to wrap us this post.  I will just do it abruptly.  Think about what you are doing today.  Is there something you would look back on (if you were hypothetically hit by a bus), and say, “Life was short, why did I do it that way or why did I say that way or why did I do or say nothing at all?”  A simple mindset change can set a new course or open up new opportunity.  

 

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