Just A Phase

I was talking to a colleague today about her hectic work schedule, her 5 kids, her lack of sleep and she said, “I just tell myself this is a phase of my life, like a season. I am going to enjoy it because the next phase will be very different.”  I told her when I need advice I will be calling her because I found her words to be very wise.  Every morning this week I have opened my eyes and the first thought has been, “Is this really my life?  Do I have to do this again today?”  Well as it happens, you find your answers in unexpected ways – in my case while talking to a colleague.  This is not my life, this is just a phase of my life albeit a consuming phase.  A time in which I am working crazy hours and feel like I am living and breathing work.  It is the phases of life that help build a fulfilling life.

I feel like in some ways I see changes in my life and in other ways I am just hovering in the same general vicinity.  I am trying to better manage my workload and my work schedule and I am finding that to be challenging.  That is kind of the same.  As I reflect on 2013 and think about the last few weeks, I am seeing more of the same at work in this new year. Hovering. We had a reorg and I have new boss.  It is really more of the same because nothing has really changed in my day to day. Change – sort of. I think I expected a reorg to bring a new and different angle but no matter how many reorgs come to my organization, we see more of the same. Ironically, I am really learning a lot through this hectic period at work.  And it is actually all okay, it just helps me understand why I wake up with the thoughts of, “This is my life?”  Other things around me are transforming, my friends for example.  Some of my friends have children and I hear from them less than in the past.  Unless they can get time free, away from family activities, time to visit can be difficult to schedule.  I am good with that because life evolves and it enjoyable to watch friends grow into motherhood.  I was talking to one of my friends today and we were discussing someone we know in common.  I said, “I just let people go at some point.  I get tired of people who take, take, take and bring emotional drama to the table and nothing else.  It is easier to just let those people go live in their drama.”  The person in question gloms on when she needs something or is having a teenage drama moment and is scarce until she needs something again. My friend agreed and said, “Wow that is a really good way to put it.”  My friendships are important to me and I am a very loyal person; however, sometimes it is just better to untie and set sail in another direction. Ironically, after that conversation, I ran into a new friend of mine in the grocery and was reminded there are always opportunities to make new friends.  Friendships change, people change, and new people come into your life to change things up.  New friends are a great change.

If life is about phases then I suppose we cannot always control when one phase ends and another begins.  If the phases help you build the life you want, there may be lessons to learn or experiences to go through before a phase can end.  You may have to wait for the right timing for the new phase to begin.  Further, if you try to force your way out of a phase, you may find yourself taking a wrong turn or you may find yourself hitting a wall.  One of my friends left my company a few years ago because he felt he could do better elsewhere.  3 years later, every time I hear from him, he wishes he had never left because leave may have been a change he should have waited to make versus jumping ship hastily.  As I think about phases, it is important to always take steps and go in new directions.  You may encounter new things instantly, you may have to demonstrate patience and hover for awhile.  I think of it like a garden and waiting for seedlings to sprout from the earth.  It never happens overnight.  It takes time and work to plant the seeds, nurture the seeds and patience to see the fruits of your labor.  I suppose it is entirely possible while hovering at a point in life, we are actually nurturing the seedlings.  It seems reasonable to expect everything will come to full bloom in the next phase.  There may also be instances when it is necessary to look back to see the meaning of each phase of your life…which reminds me of a quote (no idea who said it), “Sometimes you have to look back to see what lies ahead.”  As you live your life, there may be things that are hard to decipher or make sense of, but in time, when you look at where you are and where you have been, it all may make perfect sense, as clear as the bright blue sky.  

Thank you for reading this blog!

 

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