Closet Anxiety

Have you ever felt like you should be doing something and hesitate because you are unsure of what to do or how to do it?  And until you actually take steps, it will nag you like a gnat zipping around your head?   This weekend I woke up and was unable to determine if I had been thinking half consciously or if my dreams are just turning into the thoughts rumbling around my head. I am going to a Las Vegas wedding soon and in my dream or my half conscious thoughts, what to wear for Las Vegas nightlife was giving me angst.  Do normal people have half conscious thoughts and anxiety dreams about what to wear in Las Vegas?  Anytime wardrobe feels complicated, I get angst because dressing like J.Lo or Beyonce is far from how I operate day to day. This has given me a new dream in life.  How fabulous would it be to get on a plane, fly to a destination (we will go with Las Vegas) and have an entire wardrobe waiting in the hotel room, with accessories, shoes and a stylist at your beckon call?  Add hair and make-up artist to the mix since I can barely apply mascara. Talk about no brainer approach to travel and wardrobe. It would be a far easier approach than shopping and I have to believe that is how J.Lo and Beyonce travel. It is actually horrible to think about shopping for a trip to Las Vegas. When I NEED something (other than jeans or LuLu Lemon pants), I have a hard time finding the right clothes.  When I am shopping for no reason, I usually hit the jackpot.  What is that?  Though I would never do it, I have even gone down the route of cancelling my trip due to wardrobe anxiety.  Oh yeah, my brain – it is constantly in problem solving mode.  Cancel trip over wardrobe – could that be more illogical?  Would J.Lo do that?

It is funny.  I have been going to the same gym for a very long time. I avoid 99% of the other gym members except for a handful of really interesting, kind friends I have met along the way. Those friends know I tend to keep to myself and know I am, in fact, outgoing outside the gym. Some people make comments about my anti social ways during my workouts.  The truth is, I have no interest in socializing at the gym.  I am there to workout and do my thing and am happy in my own world.  I will wave hello and keep walking because who needs to spend 3 hours in the gym talking to random people every day?  How does that relate to Las Vegas and my wardrobe problems? Well it just makes me wonder if anyone calling me anti social would ever believe I am on an elliptical machine wondering how in the world I will outfit myself in Las Vegas?   “So if you had no idea what to wear on a weekend trip, would you cancel the trip?”  I guess I can poll the gym members?  The truth is, I do know the answer.  I will have to start shopping online for ideas and either order a bunch of dresses or go through the insufferable process of trying on clothes under those horrible fluorescent lights in all dressing rooms.

I was sitting here trying to figure out why I felt compelled to write; and the truth is, writing helps me get things out of my head.  I have no better description than sometimes mental constipation strikes (sorry that is just so wrong yet just so apt) and I have to start writing. So many thoughts build up and so much going on in my brain, an outlet is just so necessary to free up space.  I selected my Las Vegas wardrobe angst as my topic because it seems so ridiculous and frivolous (though it is real!!) and it is my reality.  Clothes give me angst (except jeans and LuLu Lemon pants).  Do you think my brain will just quit on me someday due to improper use of a high quality mental capacity and processing ability?  

Thank you for reading this blog!

Comments

  1. I love this post! So honest & completely relatable. True confession, I bailed on an event in the city a few weeks ago because I was (a) exhausted (b) not feeling well and (c) had nothing to wear. Only problem is that A and B were revealed to me after I cancelled my night and stayed home….it was then I realized that my wardrobe malfunction was (in part) the manifestation of my overall fatigue. I can sympathize with your wardrobe anxiety. For someone who alternates between scrub pants and yoga pants….coordinating an entire ‘look’ could take a village (or an entire pinterest mood board)!! You’re not alone! Thanks for the great read.

  2. The Page of Aquarius says:

    Birds of a feather, Megan!!! Hope all is well!

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