A Mind of Its Own

What does it mean when someone says, ‘Have faith in the process’? Does it mean just go with the flow?  Does it mean be patient?   It is so hard to be patient when events in life are outside your control or when the what to do next seems unclear.  I have so many things rolling around my head these days and often find myself wondering when my brain is going to take a break.  Figuring out one’s purpose or relationships or career or where to live or anything “big” in life can be elusive,  challenging and perplexing at times.  I keep reading things that implicitly or explicitly state ‘have faith in the process.’  Have faith in the process of making yourself crazy trying to solve puzzles for which pieces appear to be missing?  Or  does it mean just stop thinking and see what happens.  When I try to stop thinking about something, I find it to be an exercise in futility.  I would love it if my brain had a delete button for some things; but alas, as a human, the brain can work overtime and springs things upon us whether we like it or not.  If it means go do something, what do you do when you are unsure what to do?

The trigger for much of what goes on in my brain is how I feel about the things rolling around in my head.  My brain used to take care of everything.  If someone asked how I felt, I would reply with ‘I think….’ and never ‘I feel…’.  I used to be able to compartmentalize things in my life. Put it in a mental box, tie a bow around it, and go about my business.  I am unsure when my brain was pushed out of the driver seat and forced to work alongside feelings and intuition but it happened.  

Since my brain had to to reckon with feelings and intuition, other things have come to light.  I have been inspired to be more creative. It may sound unusual and I felt it was odd at first, then I started to just go with the flow. I went out and bought watercolor paints and brushes and started painting.  I used to love be creative and artistic and when I walked into an art store last summer, I was in awe.  All I could FEEL was ‘Whoa!!! There is so much I can do in here!’  I quite enjoy painting with watercolors and drawing among other things.  I realized I had put my creative self on a shelf many years ago and had forgotten about it.  I would guess most people would be surprised to find out I have a creative side at this point in my life.

I also started to write in the last several months. I used to write and illustrate short books when I was a kid.  I have translated that into a personal blog, this blog, and a few notebooks   There are times when I just need to write whatever is top of mind.  It is rarely creative whimsical writing and often about something that struck a nerve in a good way or a bad way or a curious way.  

I guess going back to painting and writing are cases of me just going with the flow.  Doing rather than questioning; though I must admit sometimes I am unsure of why or what.  Maybe I just had faith in the process of dusting off my creative side and there is more to come.

Are you a thinker or a feeler?

Speak Your Mind

*